Subfloor10

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T06:47:00.001-08:00

OK, so it's Turkey day...mine is sitting in a tub of water right now. It was still a little frozen this morning, but seems OK now. I'll prep it and get it in the oven in a couple of hours. It's a small one, so should be good to go by this afternoon. Taking a break from trying to clean up my place. I get happy just thinking about Patty. When it comes to Christmas, Patty is getting the better end of the deal. I'm getting her the large size photo printer she wants, and an Ipod touch, and most of the Jane Austen movies she had on her wish list. A part of me sees me and Patty ending up together and being happy (at least on some level) together. We'll each have that other person out there who makes our collective hearts sing, but we'll comfort each other. We're also both mature enough to realize that you don't always get the fairy-tale ending in life.

Watching Joan Biaz sing on "The Last Waltz". It's one of my Thanksgiving traditions. I also like to listen to "Alice's Restaurant"...other than that, it's turkey, stuffing, mash potatoes and the rest of the usual food stuff. Will probably end up going to see the Twilight movie tonight. I started the 4th book last night. It hasn't received the best reviews, so I hope it doens't ruin the series for me....I also hope the movie does the first book justice.

Just remembering last Thanksgiving...I drove up from Panama City Beach to be with Patty and her mom and son....Patty burned her arm with gravy...not fun. Later (or possibly the next day) she broke out in hives...we think it may have been the pet carpet cleaner stuff...we had moved furniture around in her bedroom and she was crawling on the floor quite a bit as we did...anyway, she was miserable for a couple of days, but got better.

Was the Macy's parade always so lame? I remember loving it as a kid.

Rise from the dead

2008-11-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

So it's been years...and well let's see what has changed...

I got out of the Air Force...maybe you already knew that. Moved to Detroit, but couldn't find a job. Got a call from Wynne and Brian down in Florida saying that they had a job for me... I thought about for a few weeks, and then decided I had to take it. At the time I was very concentrated on getting Aidan back with me. The job turned out to be very good. I lived in Panama City Beach form almost 3 years (I'll probably use another blog to fill you in on that). Then I moved here to O'Fallon, IL (near St Louis for anyone not willing to pull it up on Gooogle maps). I got a job that was satisfactory, but not anything to rave about. After the contract switched to a new company I did stay on, and I work with some very good people, who help make showing up every day worth it. I'll also use another post to try and cover everything that's happened since moving up here...like moving into one place, then moving into my own place...

So why am I back? I need a place to start putting my thoughts together again. I'm at a very confusing point in my life. I happened to stumble across my old blog and started reading it... I got nostalgic for how I used to keep things updated pretty regularly. I want to get back to that. I want to be able to look back years from now and have some sort of record of how my life went... This time around I would like to do it without many of the restrictions I use to put on myself... I would blog often, and just make comments on the day, and life with Aidan etc, but I would often edit myself based on who I knew would be reading...I don't want to do that any more. I've had good and bad things happen in my life. I've hurt others and been hurt. I've made others happy, and some have done that for me...so now as I begin my trial experiment of blogging again I will not hold back.

I'm at a point where I'm feeling pressure to know what it is I really want in life, and to set myself on the path that will most likely help me to get it. I'm probably the only one who that will be interesting to, but who cares? I'm not advertising that this blog even exist any more. I'm just going to use it as my journal and keep living my life. I'll also put in the light, weird, neurotic thoughts that cross my mind like I used to...just because I can still make myself laugh, and hope that I always will...

OK, it's almost 11. I'm sleeping at Patty's tonight. I wish she knew how much I just enjoy having her next to me...

Gotta go kids

Cheers!

Just Checking

2006-03-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

So it seems myspace doesn't have very good archive features...so I'm thinking about coming back to the blogger site...all in favor say I.

Going Private

2005-11-21T18:12:00.000-08:00

I've been re-reading my post from the last year or so. They provide a quick glimpse into what I was doing, but lack any emotion, and fail to capture the scope of my thoughts on many levels. The reason for this I feel is that I was posting for an audience (a small one). I hold things back to avoid confusion, anger, whatever. I was trying to please everyone, and the result is that I don't really have anything to go back and see what kind of person I really was/am. So, I'm going to make sure I capture everything I have hear and save it off to disk, then I'm going to get rid of this site and just do a private journal on my laptop. I don't think a public forum is the right place for the type of writing I want to do. Farewell and you can always keep in touch via email.

Cheers!
Tim

...Oh, and I'm moving back to Michigan this summer...

Tired of the fake postings

2005-11-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

I'm changing the ability to post to members only. I'll add the people who post regularly as members to my site when I get home tonight.

Cheers
Tim

No pics from Halloween

2005-11-02T19:22:00.000-08:00

My camera was completely out of power. My friends Lori and Andres took some of the kids though, so I should have copies soon. In the mean time, here's some recent pics of Aidan...

Aidan doing warmups

A picture of me just after getting my t-shirt on

Aidan on the slide at the fall festival

A good pic of his smile...

Another of Aidan on the slide...

Soccer and Halloween

2005-10-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Finished off the soccer season tonight with a pizza party. We passed out trophies and had cake. The kids got me an engraved key chain that is very cool. I also got a team picture signed by all of the kids. Aidan loved that he got a trophy. I placed it on one of the book shelves in the living room and let him know it was "the place of honor".

We got our Halloween costumes tonight. Aidan is going as a Power Ranger. He didn't want to be any of the home made costumes I suggested. I'm going as Arthur Dent from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Basically it means I'll be wearing my bathrobe and carrying a towel around. Aidan is doing a sleepover at the gymnastics place on Friday, and I'm going out with some friends. Should be a good time.

We're doing take two of the jack-o-lantern tomorrow night

Geek Hobbies

2005-10-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

Starting two geek hobbies. First one is coin collecting with my son. We're starting small by getting all the currently available state coins. I'll probably get him a collecting kit for christmas.

Second hobby is going to be matting and framing. I'm going to order some equipment so I can do this at home. I think I've just finally reached an age where I need something to do in my spare time that doesn't involve being naked.

Saw some disturbing news piece last night that highlighted twin 12 year old girls who are home schooled and brainwashed. These girls travel around singing songs about how Hitler was a great man, and how they wish black people didn't exist...congrats to the mom for raising America's most fucked up kids. It was obvious from watching that the answers they provided were not their own opinion, just a repeat of what they've been told by those who have influence over them. At some point though I fear what they repeat may reach a level where it can't be undone, and become their actual way of thinking...

Open Office

2005-10-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't tried it, or need free software that performs all of the functions of Microsoft Office, I suggest downloading a copy of Open Office

You can import and export all your documents easily, and it's an open source program so it's free. I've been using it for a while and I really like it.

French Onion Soup

2005-10-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

I made this last week. It was awesome. Even Aidan liked it. The cheese is a little pricey, but worth it...

6 tablespoons butter
8 medium size onions, sliced thinly
4 thyme sprigs, leaves stripped
1/2 cup sherry
4 cups brown chicken broth
2 cups beef broth
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
French bread croutons
2 cups grated Gruyere cheese

In a large saucepan or Dutch oven, add butter and melt over medium heat. Add the onions and lower the heat to medium low. Add the thyme leaves and cook, stirring frequently, until the onions start to turn golden brown, about 25 minutes. Add the sherry and cook until the sherry is almost completely evaporated and the onions are brown, about 15 minutes.
Add the stocks and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to a simmer and simmer for 30 minutes. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Ladle the soup into 8 oven-proof soup bowls. Place the soup bowls on a sheet pan. Place the croutons on top of the soup, to cover. Top each bowl with 1/2 cup grated cheese. Place in the oven and cook until the cheese is golden brown and bubbly, about 10 minutes.

Good stuff...got the recipe off of Emeril except he used chicken and veal stock instead of broth...Aidan and I are going to start finding one new recipe a week that we make together. As I've given up McD's forever (really bad experience involving raw meat and what I think was mold), home cooked will work out fine. I just wish I had a good set of knives. Mine are a cheapo set called Chicago cutlery...don't ever buy that brand...the knives suck.

Birthday came and went...more of a big waste of time. Didn't do anything. Last year was really great. I had a Thai dinner with Jeff and Karen and then went to the movies, and then that weekend I flew out to see Amber and we went on a Blues music riverboat cruise.

That's all for now kids...

Cheers
Tim

Cancer N Stuff...

2005-10-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

I'm working on the committee for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life for Panama City Beach. I'm the Retention Chairperson. I'm also working on getting some new teams signed up this year so that we break our goal. I'm working with some good people, and I hope it turns out to be a rewarding experience.

It will be my birthday in a few days. I may get myself the new Fiona Apple and Depeche Mode albums, but other than that not really doing anything. Aidan has soccer game that morning, then we're going to a birthday party for my friend's son.

I'm going to start running again at lunch time, just so I have a reason to leave the office...

It was nice to see Bush and some military members deployed to Iraq get caught on tape scripting their "unrehearsed and unbiased" interview. He's such a dick. And the military people who get on there and agree to just say whatever they're told to say should hang their fucking heads in shame...no integrity any more...

Need some new books to read, so send me some suggestions...

Small chance I may end up asking for the Team Lead position at Ramstein... just a thought at this point, but I'll keep you posted.

2005-10-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

My week without meat ended at lunchtime yesterday at Hardees... Going without meat makes you feel hungry all the time...I can't live like that.

No meat for a week

2005-09-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to go the whole week without eating meat...more for morbid curiosity than any real health issue...I've stocked up on fruits, cheese and bread. I have normal food for Aidan, but he we could both stand to improve our diets.

One more week of class, then I'm done until Jan. Actually I'll be doing some DANTES test each month because some of my technical credits don't transfer over to my school. They suggested I just do the simple humanities and health type test just to cover credits I need to graduate. I'm not really too worried about it.

I'm finally turning in my application to CSC in the morning, and I should make the switch on the 10th. The raise equates to about an extra grand a month after taxes... This time next year I should only have my car payment left as a major bill.. I'm also glad I'll be able to put more away for Aidan.

Aidan has gotten A's on all of his spelling test this year. Still waiting to see if they move him to 2nd grade for his reading classes. He just needs to work on his handwriting, but after looking at my own, I know where he gets it...

Bought a new futon, now I just need to re-arrange the office so everything will fit when it arrives...

"BushClintonKatrinafund"...why the hell couldn't they leave their names off? This is why we can't have nice things...

Allergies have been killing me lately, but I think the heaviest of it is finally over...we're expecting rain for the next couple of days, so that should help....

Finally have some movies to take Aidan to. We're going to Corpse Bride, and then the new Wallace and Grommit, and then Chicken Little...and this Christmas his mom and I will take him to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe...

That's about all for now...I was really worn out for the last month or so because of work and school, but that seems to be ending now...I actually have energy right now and feel pretty good.

Football season et al...

2005-09-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

I've been working weekends and long hours lately, so I haven't had time to post. Aidan and I are doing good. His teacher is looking into sending him to the 2nd grade class for his reading since he's ahead of the others in his class. He also has gotten all A's on his spelling test. He's getting better at soccer too.

It's football season again, but it doesn't feel like it yet. Too hot here. I need some fall weather soon. My allergies were really bad over the weekend, but seem ok now.

I finally get to get out and do some adult things Friday. Going to TGIF's for drinks with some of the other soccer coaches, while the kids are at fun night at the local gymnastics center. We've got a DD set up so everything should be cool.

That's about it for now...
Tim

2005-09-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to see this!

I may be moving my blog...

2005-08-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.myspace.com/subfloor05

Thinking about moving over to myspace, but not sure yet...I have to go back and save off everything I have here first...

First, Last and Others...

2005-08-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

Got this off a friend's site...

FIRSTS
First Job: Delivered Newspapers (The Journal Courier and the New Haven Register)
First Screen Name: Kidchaos (back in 95)
First Kiss: Sherry Eldridge in kindergarten/1st grade time frame
First Purchased CD: Eric Clapton-Journeyman
First Funeral: Grandpa Reider's
First Piercing: I had 3 in my ears done at the same time when I first joined the AF
First True Love - N/A
First Big Trip- CT to TX after 7th grade
First Concert: I honestly can't remember any more...
First Musician/Musical Act you remember hearing in your house - Buddy Holly

LASTS
Last Long Car Ride - TX to Panama City Beach
Last Kiss: Amber
Last book purchased: For myself (Eldest), For my son (The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe)
Last Movie seen: The Quick and the Dead on DVD
Last beverage drank: Arizona Ice Tea
Last food consumed: Mashed potatoes
Last phone call: My ex called to talk to Aidan
Last CD played: Powderfinger in the car today
Last annoyance: All the sensationalism over of huricane Katrina
Last soda drank: Coke
Last ice cream flavor & when did you have it: Phish Food - about 2 months ago
Last website visited: myspace.com

What do your friends like about you? - humour I guess - they never say
What do your friends like least about you?- humour I guess - they never say
What do you like most about your best friends? that they're their when I need them
What do you like least about your best friends? everyone lives so damn far away

Videos

2005-08-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

I added a link for music video's at the bottom...I'll post some of my favorites from time to time...The one you're listening to right now is American Jesus by Bad Religion.

Reading...

2005-08-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

Aidan is still working on Cricket in Times Square. I'm reading 'Eragon', in preparation for 'Eldest', which I just ordered off of Amazon, along with most of the "Great Brain" series for Aidan. I loved those books, and others like 'Alvin's Swap Shop'(which I also ordered) when I was a kid. I'm hoping to pass that on to Aidan.

Aidan wants to join Cub Scouts. They're having a meeting tomorrow night. I'm still not sure if I want him doing it. I liked Boy Scouts as a kid. I just think that they put too much emphasis on religion, and exclusion of homosexuals. Kids don't need to learn hate at that age, and they don't need religion being forced by an outside organization...we'll see. Maybe this pack won't stress it as much.

From Moby

2005-08-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

The following is off of Moby's blog. His view on this are pretty close to my own...

============
ok,
so now we all see that pat robertson is a belligerent lunatic.
so we can move on, right?
the right wing in america are nuts, but that unfortunately comes as no surprise.
they believe that the world was created in 6 days and that teletubbies are evil and that bare breasts on tv are more offensive than dead iraqi's and that kids reading 'harry potter' will end up as witches and that good christians support war and guns and assasinations and that pregnancies resulting from rapes should be rejoiced over.
so let's move on, ok?
the christian right wing in america are INSANE and, fyi, very dangerous, because currently they are running the country.
(as an aside: please, please, please, can we please re-instate the mason-dixon line? please? any sane and progressive southerners will be more than welcome to move north. we'll give you a donkey and 40 acres and it'll all work out swimmingly. and, in the process, we in the north can stop pouring our tax dollars into the 'christian' south, where the abortion and crime rates are considerably higher than they are in the 'godless' north. just fyi).
ok, we've moved on.
but, alas, there are tens of millions of people in america who still think that saddam hussein was behind 9-11 and that iraq had wmd's and that gw bush is not a liar and that the war in iraq is/was justified etc, etc.
so what do we do with the tens of millions of americans who are just fucking ignorant and ill-informed?
do we have to start administering voting tests?
question a: gw bush did knowingly lie about the cost of his medicare reform package to the tune of a few hundred billion dollars.
(hint: true).
question b: the bush administration did knowingly lie about and distort intelligence reports to justify the invasion of iraq.
(hint: true).
question c: the highest crime and abortion and illiteracy and infant-mortality rates occur in 'red' states that traditionally vote for republicans.
(um, hint: true).
question d: the bush administration has contained the highest number of convicted felons of any administration in the history of the united states.
(tautologically, hint: true).

well, and so on.
sorry if this is a nasty, political journal entry. but i'm sick and fucking tired of being associated with dim-witted americans who get all of their information from right wing news outlets and have no idea what's actually going on in the rest of the world, let alone their own country.
i still don't understand how the party of joe mccarthy, rush limbaugh, newt gingrich, trent lott, bob barr, james watt, etc, can maintain it's stranglehold on the u.s.

exasperatedly yours,
moby

Rained Out

2005-08-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

Aidan's game on Saturday got cancelled half way through because of lightning in the area. Actually they kept playing in the rain, so I guess rained out was a bad choice for title.

He's doing good in school. Got an A+ on his first spelling test, and has been doing great on his math and reading.

I finished a database and application development course only to head right into a data mining and intelligent agents course...I'm almost done though....

The French are after Lance Armstrong again...they just won't give up. Unless Germans are knocking on the door that is...

I'm switching companies in October (same job, just getting hired on by the main contractor). The move comes with a nice raise, so I'm happy.

I need to get copies of all the Family Guy episodes. I accidentally errased the best one. It had Cookie Monster in rehab...great stuff.

more later
Tim

Soccer Pics

2005-08-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Aidan had his first game on Saturday. Luckily they don't actually keep score. His team is brand new, and played a team that has been playing together for more than a year. Everyone had fun though, so that's the good part. Some of the pics here are also from his first day of school. The one of him asleep was on the drive over to practice after his first day of school.

Aidan Logic

2005-08-11T04:18:00.000-07:00

You don't go to the pool to cool off. You go to warm off, because the warm is on you and you want to get it off.

Research

2005-08-08T17:22:00.000-07:00

Aidan and I did some research today on what type of rigging to use when we go fishing. I think we finally have everything down...we're going on Wednesday, so I'll let you (my many adoring fans) know how it turns out.

I added a link to show the weather here...now don't you feel special?

Argument for the day.... Intelligent Design is neither intelligent, nor a design...discuss

For those of you unfamiliar, Intelligent Design is creationism wrapped up in a catchy "scientific" sounding name...our wonderful president now thinks it should be introduced in schools...maybe in a contempory issues course, but please don't try and pass it off as science..our kids are far enough behind the rest of the world as it is....

Rainy Day

2005-08-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

Couldn't go fishing today because of the weather. Instead, we went to Target and bought a new iron (Aidan knocked my other one over a couple of days ago), a wall clock, and alarm clocks for our bedrooms. Then we went to books-a-million to get some books for Aidan to read over the next couple of weeks. We have to read together every night and log what we've read and any comments. I think it's a great way for us to do something together. We read the 1st chapter of The Cricket in Times Square tonight. It was a favorite of mine, and I'm hoping it becomes one of Aidan's. We also bought The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, and Bunnicula (about a vampire bunny), and Kavik The Wolf Dog.

I want to go out and dance, or just have a couple of drinks or something...I need a sitter for Aidan, or I need him to age rapidly so he can stay home alone...Sigh.

First Day of School

2005-08-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a couple of pics from this morning...

Aidan behind the camera

2005-08-02T18:32:00.000-07:00

Here's some pics Aidan took of me today before we headed to soccer practice...unfortunately practice was rained out...

Drinks, food and frisbee on the beach...

2005-07-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

Aidan and I had dinner at Schooner's tonight. They played beach music (Jimmy Buffet), and you can walk right out onto the beach from the bar/restaurant. After we ate, we went and played frisbee on the beach...it was a very good night.

Taking him for school clothes tomorrow. On Monday, he'll get a haircut. I'm working from home Monday-Wednesday so I should be able to squeeze in a little time at the pool during lunch...I think Aidan will also enjoy being able to sleep in a little and just veg out for a couple of days...We've been keeping pretty busy schedules with work, daycare, homework, and soccer...

Space Shuttle

2005-07-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

It's about time.

Funny....or not...

2005-07-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

I received a comment on my last blog from someone named "Danica"...I was curious, so I followed the link...it of course leads to a freakin sex site... so this is how they're now going to markert internet porn I guess... I'm thinking I'll need to write a little letter to blogger letting them know...

Tornado

2005-07-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

We had a bad storm here on Saturday. Aidan and I were looking out the window wondering what the deal was, and he made the comment "It looks like a tornado"... I thought OK, he just has an active imagination... I get to work this morning, and notice my area is filled with equipment that we had out in the field with our tents... the reason for the moving of the equipment... a tornado had destroyed the system... These tents are(were) located with 1/2 mile of where I live...

Guess I was wrong...

2005-07-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

Looks like the pics option did work...It errored out when I first tried it, but then the post showed up on my site...

Testing the blogger pic capability

2005-07-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Just testing...

PICS

2005-07-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

I guess the blogger images thing doesn't work... you can view some new pics at: http://www.bebo.com/invitea/2257808a124440950b145

New Pics

2005-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

Here's a couple of pics of Aidan...I put some more at the Bebo site: http://www.bebo.com/invitea/2257808a124440950b145

Pot Roast

2005-07-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

Got a request for the pot roast recipe, so here it is, with added warning on how to avoid burning the place down..

This is a combo of a couple of recipe's, but it's the way I make mine....add or subtract ingredients as you see fit...

1 ( 3 to 4-pound) sirloin tip roast(or chuck roast), netted or tied at 1-inch intervals
10 cloves garlic, peeled and halved lengthwise, plus 4 to 6 garlic cloves, peeled
1 tablespoon Essence, plus 1 1/2 teaspoons
1 1/4 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1 cup dry red wine
3 tablespoons tomato paste
4 large carrots, scrubbed
2 stalks celery, trimmed and cut in half crosswise
2 medium yellow onions, peeled and quartered
1 pound small new potatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup beef stock, or canned low-sodium beef broth
2 bay leaves

With a small, sharp knife, make 30 (1 1/2-inch deep) slits around the outside of the roast. Insert the half cloves of garlic into the slits. Rub the roast with 1 tablespoon of the Essence, 1 teaspoon of the black pepper, and 1 teaspoon of the salt.
In a large roasting pan or Dutch oven, alternate the carrots and celery flat on the bottom of the pot. Place the bay leaves on the vegetables. Scatter the onions, potatoes, and garlic over the bottom. (The vegetables will form a "nest" on which the roast will be placed.)

Heat the oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the roast and sear on all sides, about 4 minutes per side. Remove from the pan, and place on top of vegtables.

Deglaze the pan with the red wine (this is the part where I started the fire, so be careful), scraping up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon (it has a lot of flavor). In a mixing bowl, whisk together the tomato paste and 1 cup of water. Add the tomato paste mixture to the red wine and cook for 2 minutes.
Add the red wine mixture and the stock to the crock pot.

cook on low for about 6 hours and it should be just right...

Essence (Emeril's Creole Seasoning): Or you can buy it at the store...
2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon dried leaf oregano
1 tablespoon dried thyme

The Streamers

2005-07-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

Aidan had his first practice today. His team is called the Streamers. He really enjoyed himself, but got worn out pretty quick. He did good though. He's playing in a league where most of the other kids are 7 and 8. He ended up coming back and scarfing down his pot roast, so we could go swimming... I think he'll sleep pretty good tonight. His first game in on August 13th. They don't actually keep score, but the kids always know who won... The league makes sure each kid plays a minimum of half the game so that they get experience. I took some pics, but they didn't come out very well I'll take some more next practice and post them...

Almost done with the new Harry Potter...I'll post my comments once I finish. Did I mention I got an A in my last class? I rule! I also just got an A+ on a paper that I thought was terrible...

Now we're cooking with gas...

2005-07-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

Almost burned down the apartment at lunch today. I was preparing a pot roast to do in the crock pot. I seared the pot roast and put it in the crock pot on top of the veggies...I then went back to the frying pan to add wine to deglaze it and make the sauce...one small problem...I now have a gas stove. The wine caught fire, and promptly blew up all over the kitchen.. so I was standing there with a fire going in the frying pan, covered in wine, and the smoke alarm going off...I think that qualifies as my worst cooking disaster ever. At least the pot roast ended up really good....

Killing time on a Friday afternoon

2005-07-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Finally have a phone and internet access in my new office at work. It's on a Navy run intranet, and it's not very fast. Oh well... Aidan and I have been swimming pretty regularly. He's getting pretty good. I'm hoping the exercise is doing me some good...

I stand by my earlier claim that 30 Days is the best show on TV. If you haven't seen it yet, it comes on Wednesday nights on FX.

I got an A in my last class. I'm in the process of trying to get all my GI Bill stuff worked out so that the school gets paid at some point. My current class is database design. It's the first time in a while I can sit there and read the text book and not fall asleep immediately.

I have a paper to write this weekend, but that may have to take a back seat to starting on the new Harry Potter when it gets here tomorrow.

Anyway, not much else going on right now. Got Aidan registered for school, and his physical done...He's in fine shape. I'm glad we're out of Wynne and Brian's because he no longer sneezes... I do need to get him tested at some point to find out if it was the dogs or their cat that did it too him...

more later...
Tim

On the run...

2005-07-10T06:07:00.000-07:00

Aidan and I evacuated Panama City Beach at about 2 in the morning Saturday. Hopefully Denise won't do too much damage. We're at my parents in South Carolina. I forgot my power cord, so this will be my last post until I get back.

Weekend at the parents

2005-07-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

Had a really great time at my parents over the weekend. Aidan loved swimming in the pool and playing with his cousin. He's getting better at swimming. Yesterday he swam across the pool (short way) at the apartments, without any floaties on his arm. He wants to be able to swim the long way, but right now I have him do it where he can still stand up if he needs to...

I'm going to try and take him fishing this weekend if the weather is good. We're suppose to get wind and rain today from tropical storm Cindi, and then Monday we're looking at getting hit by hurican Denise. Should be a fun time.

Eminent Domain

2005-06-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

The latest supreme court decision on seizure of property for development is a step in the wrong direction. I understand the need of eminent domain for roads and other public projects, but to extend those rights to private developers is a bad choice. The problem is that the right contractor, with enough money and sway will now be able to have their say on what is "good" for the public, so that they can gain the rights to land etc for new development. I agree that a lot of this country could use some touching up, but not at the expense of people who make their lives in a community, only to be told they're losing their homes so a new hotel and riverfront development can go up....

2005-06-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

Continuing on my earlier post... They're using Iggy Pop's "The Passenger" for the new show "30 Days"..although in this case I think it's a good match. The show looks like it's going to be very cool. The guy who did "Supersize Me" is doing the show. As for the song, I also like the Sioxie and the Banshee's version. It's weird, I've always like this song, and had it stuck in my head for years, but couldn't remember who the heck performed it, or what the name was...then one day it just hit me and I haven't forgotten since...

Selling out

2005-06-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

Docker's uses a The The song in one of their latest commercials...When will it end? I guess when Old Navy uses the Smith's "Some girls are bigger than others" to advertise their new plus size line, then I'll know nothing is sacred...

Made a call to set up cable/internet at the new place...now I just realized that if I don't have power set up first, then I've wasted my time...I'm sure it will work itself out.

I'm seriously considering buying Wynne and Brian a new lawn mower as a gift for letting me stay there...or more I'm buying them a new lawn mower because the one they have sucks. I feel they would benefit from one the has that nice feature where it pulls itself along... It's just too damn hot in Florida to mess around pushing a lawn mower (even if it's a small one) up a hill (even if it's a small one). Anyway, I have a coupon for home depot so they may get lucky...

I saw an episode of Queer Eye where they used wicker furniture and blinds in this guys house. It actually looked pretty cool, so I'm considering it for my solarium area. Yes, I follow the theory that homosexuals are suppose to give fashion advice to heterosexuals. An idea the producers probably got from walking into the Gap. Anyway the room looked cool, and it had a white fur rug that was very similar to the one Amber got me for Christmas, so I have to incorporate it...

more later...
Tim

2005-06-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

Shake your groove thing...

It seems that Aidan has a small problem with showing his butt while going to the bathroom at daycare. The problem is that he likes to just drop his pants and underwear to his ankles and then go. The other kids don't appreciate it. I've had a talk with him, and he seems to understand now.

I want a bike. A mountain bike actually. A good one that rides smooth and is light. Of course I live in Florida, so next I'll need a mountain. After I move into the new place I plan on getting a bike and riding to work whenever I can. I'll only be a mile away, so I may have to come up with a little longer route in order to get some exercise in.

Aidan and I are going bowling tonight. Our goal is a combined score over 100. He told me he got a 75 last time he went with daycare. I think I can make up the rest.

We're getting ready for the first tropical storm of the season here. I love big storms. I hope we get a lot of rain and thunder and lightning.

more later
Tim

2005-06-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

I finished up in Miami about a week and a half ago. It was a good trip, but I don't think I would like to live there. Good place to party and eat, but that's it.

I flew from Miami to San Antonio to get Aidan. From there we drove up to Dallas to pick up his things. We stayed overnight in Dallas and then took off Saturday for Panama City. Didn't make the best time the first day, because we hit some really bad traffic before we even got out of Texas. I went 3 miles in 1 hour, and then spent another 20 minutes just sitting in park. Never really figured out what happened. Next day was much better. A little bit of rain here and there, but very little traffic. Aidan was fun to have as a travel companion. He took about 100 pictures of just the road or himself. I still can't beleive how big he is now. He liked travelling in a U-haul truck. He also had a portable DVD player to help him pass the time.

The first day or so at Wynne and Brian's was rough. Aidan was trying to adjust to being with me again, and at the same time trying to get aquainted with Zachary and Wynne and Brian and the dogs. He's doing better now. I can't wait for us to be in the apartment though. It takes about 2 hours in the afternoon to go over and get him and drive back. Once we move and he starts school, everything will be walking distance...I also can't wait to be in my own place...nothing against Wynne and Brian, they've been great. I'm just a private person and like my own space. I never really felt fully comfortable when I was living with Glenn either...

Class is going pretty good. It's pretty easy so far. I'll just be glad to finish these last couple and move onto my Master's in the next year or so....

Going to Mom and Dad's for 4th of July. Amber is suppose to visit at the end of July. I can't wait to see her again.

Aidan's B-day is in a couple of weeks. I'm going to get him salt and freshwater fishing poles and a tackle box...I'll get myself some stuff too so we can fish together...

I want a sea-doo. Once I move into the apartment I'm going to see about getting one, and where I can store it...

That's about all for now... Detroit is up in game 7 at the half.... another year with the Pistons in basketball and the Redsox in baseball as champs and I'll be in heaven. Now if Joe Gibbs can just get the skins together...

more later
Tim

2005-05-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

Still in Miami...I've been putting in some long hours here. I do have the next couple of days off, so I hope to get out and have a little fun while I'm here. Amber came down the first weekend I was here. We had a great time. Got to eat good food, go to the beach and just relax.

I leave to get Aidan on Friday morning. I can't wait to see him again. I'm not really looking forward to the long drive from San Antonio to PC, but it's worth it. I wish I had a couple more days off with him before he starts daycare, but that's OK. I still can't beleive he's going to be in 1st grade in August.

Still haven't seen the new Star Wars movie, but I've heard it's really good. I may end up taking Aidan to see it, but need to read more about how violent it is...

I want a sea-doo or some other type of ride on jet ski. I love being on the water. I'll have to wait a while to see if I can budget for one...or I may see if I can rent one for a day or two to make sure it's something I want.

Started my classes again. It looks like this one will be pretty easy as well. It's a web development course...

I have a little bit of a cold right now. I was on night watch and it was pouring down rain. Part of the tent started to leak where it connected to a hum-v, so I went out to try and re-velcro everything down. Unfortunately our tent system is climate controlled, and it was freezing in there when I came back in...oh well...I'll get over it I'm sure.

I can't wait to get into my own apartment in June. I want to go through my cd's and burn them to dvd. I also want to start introducing Aidan to 20th century music. I think it will be very cool to share rock, jazz, hip-hop, reggae and more with him. I hope to discover some stuff I may have missed as well.

I bought Phil Lesh's new book. Only a few chapter's in right now, but it's a very good book. It's called "Searching for the Sound"....

OK, I have a meeting in a few minutes....

Cheers!
Tim

2005-05-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

Destination Miami

I'm relaxing today...sort of. I have to start getting my stuff together for Miami. I leave on Wednesday. I think it will be a good thing for me. I'm looking forward to being in a place where I can come and go as I please, without having to worry about waking up other people or pets.

I'm going to try and make a road trip out to Key West while I'm down there. Not that Miami doesn't have enough to offer to keep me entertained. I'm looking forward to eating at Shula's while I'm there. If I'm lucky, Amber will be able to come and visit for a couple of days as well.

I start school again when I'm down there. It's all online, and I'm bringing my laptop so I should be fine. I think the first class is a web development class. Should be pretty easy. The laptop also has a DVD player, so I can watch movies down there as well...That should also come in handy when Aidan and I drive back from Texas at the end of the month.

I'm taking my camera with me and I'll post some pics when I get the chance. I should probably take some of Panama City at some point and put those out as well.

More later
Tim

2005-04-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

First week of work is out of the way...I'm tired. The job is a lot like the stuff I did on Guam...in simple terms we go camping with our computers, sattelite and hum-v's... I've got a trip to Miami coming up, and then I go to Texas to get Aidan. I may be back in Texas at the end of the summer for work.

I'm taking a couple of hours off on Monday to check out some apartments and some schools for Aidan. I also need to get a hold of the post office and find out why my mail has not been forwarded yet...that's very frustrating...

Anyway, the only reason I'm posting right now is to see if the livefeed from my site is working...those of you who use firefox should see a little button in the lower right hand corner of the browser screen...when you click on it you will be subscribed to my site and can then view updates in your bookmarks as they happen...

OK, gotta go and find something to eat and then try to get some rest...

Cheers
Tim

2005-04-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

Too many deaths lately. Terri Schiavo, Frank Purdue, Johnnie Cochran...It looks like Pope John Paul will not be with us much longer either. One that did get to me though was Mitch Hedberg. He was one of my favorite comedians for several years. He had an offbeat sense of humor that always appealed to me. It was intelligent yet weird enough to draw me in...Mitch passed away a couple of days ago of an apparent heart attack. He was 37. I've read some rumors that drugs may have played a part. I hope that's not the case. I didn't know his story well enough to substantiate that any further...I only knew he made me laugh and that is one trait I value very highly in a person.

As for John Paul. I'm not catholic, but he was the only Pope I have in memory. In fact one of my first memories is seeing him on TV and my mom trying to tell me who he was. The other two people religious/political people who are in my first memories are Ronald Reagan and the Ayatollah Kohmenhi. What a weird time I grew up in...

Told you things might change with the job. I have some more paperwork to fill out Monday, so my actual start date won't be until Tuesday. The good news is that I may end up getting overtime (and at $50 an hour I'll take it)in my first week. I'll work as much as they'll let me until I get Aidan back.

Watched The Notebook tonight. It was a chick flick. Enjoyable, but very predictable. I hope I didn't ruin it for Wynne and Brian when I blurted out what the plot would be like in the first five minutes of the movie...

I'm going to redo my blog site soon. I want to come up with my own template and also start including RSS feeds from other sites I visit regularly.

Suppose to be going to the Hard Rock in Destin tomorrow...should be fun.

more later

Tim

2005-03-29T17:07:00.000-08:00

The Redneck Riviera

I'm here in Panama City...well actually I'm in Southport, Florida which is a couple of miles away. I like the weather...the people are very friendly, but a little too country for my taste. I guess it's something I'll have to get adjusted to. I still haven't started work. It's mostly just some paperwork stuff now. Unless something changes (and that is entirely possible) I'll be starting on Monday. I went and picked up some new work clothes today. I also got a military ID since they seem to think that I still owe them time as a member of the inactive reserves...oh well at least I can shop on base and save some money... I think tomorrow I'll try and actually head to the beach for a while and check out the spring breakers...

I miss Michigan...for more reasons than I care to write about right now... I think I'll be heading back there in a year or two if a position opens up there with my company.

I'll be in Miami for most of May, and then San Antonio in August or September. I'm hoping I don't have too many trips like that, because it will mess up Aidan's schedule.

Anyway...enough for now. I could comment on MJ or the TS or any of the other big news stories, but I'm a little tired of them all right now...

more later
Tim

2005-03-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

I'm moving to Panama City Florida some time next week. I just need to get everything taken care of with the movers. I'm going to miss the Michigan area. I really wanted everything to work out here, but the jobs just didn't come. I'll be working at the Naval Surface Warfare Center as a contractor.

I'm going to Canada tonight...I've never been, so I'm pretty excited. It's only about 30 minutes away, so I should take advantage of the situation while I'm up here. We're going to have dinner and play some blackjack...

Strained my back the other day packing stuff up...it's still a little stiff, but should be fine by tomorrow...

Executives at Nintendo are considering hiring Michael Jackson as the new spokesperson for their DS handheld since they feel Jackson would be totally on board with the DS's slogan of "Touching is good"...Yes, I need help...

Anyway that's about all for me for now... I may not post again until I'm on down in Florida...

Take Care

2005-03-02T15:29:00.000-08:00

Friday night at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase...

Emo Phillips to me.."Don't be scared,you don't come here to be made fun of... from the looks of you, you probably came here to get away from that sort of thing..."

And for some reason he kept calling me "Ken"...

No word on a job yet...Wynne and Brian seem pretty determined to get me a job with them though...Brian is putting in a call to the Gov POC in charge of the contracts down there to request they do a "by name" request for me...I'm very grateful for that kind of support...They also told the recruiter for their company to "get him down here at any cost"...we'll see how it works out...kinda running out of time/$$... Still no regrets over leaving the AF though...I know wherever I find a job, I'll be happier than I was...that does not mean that I regret my time in the AF either..it was just not for me any more...I think only people that have been through it understand that...

I paid a resume service to shotgun my info out to like a thousand companies..hopefully some of them are interested in me...I'm trying to work as many angles as possible at this point...

I'm hungy...I'm always hungry after going to the gym...that's why I don't make any progress...I can run 10K just fine, but then I go and eat the 700 or so calories I burned up... I do like going in the pool after working out though... I think if I do move to FL,I'll eventually end up buying a place with a pool...

2005-02-24T20:32:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last 45 minutes writing a huge entry, and I go to spell check it and its gone...fuck, fuck, fuck! So here it is again in the condensed version...

- I know its been a while

- I don't have a job yet

- We're going to see Emo Phillips tomorrow

- I like burgers

- The moon is big

- I was once in Australia

- I'm going to have a beer

- I had a bird in my apartment

For details on anything listed above, email me...

2005-02-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

Amber beat me at trivial pursuit!

She wanted me to openly admit that I've been beat as part of what we're calling "the healing process"...

OK, so why no post? I was going to wait until I had a job to post, but since I'm up, and I was pressured to update I'll do it now.

I finally had my interview for the position at the Defense Logistics Agency that I want. It went really well. I should know something by the end of the week.

Tomorrow I have an interview for a position at Chrysler. It pays less and is a further drive, so I'm hoping I get the first job. Only problem with the first job is that they may want me to work shift. I'm not going to borrow tomorrow's worries for today though...I'll just stick with first getting a job.

What else have I been up to? I've been spending time with Amber of course. I love doing that. We always have a great time together.

I've been re-reading the Pendragon Cycle by Stephen Lawhead

I was sick over the weekend...I seem to be better now.

I'm still going to the gym, although I skipped today because of the interview.

This weekend I'm going to see "Tony and Tina's Wedding" it's a dinner theatre thing where the audience is like guest at an Italian wedding...it should be fun.

I went to the autoshow...I'll put some pics up if I get any request...

Anyway, I recorded some shows on my DVR that I'm going to go and watch... A project for later is to use the USB port on the DVR and see if I can move recorded shows over to my computer and then put them in a format I can burn to DVD...

Happy Groundhog's Day everyone!

more later
Tim

2005-01-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

Some photos from over the holidays...

It snowed again yesterday...suppose to be near 50 by Wednesday, and then struggle to get out of the teens by Friday...reminds me of New England.

Made a big pot roast for dinner yesterday. I like doing the big Sunday dinners. Amber does as well, so that works out good.

I'll be spending the week looking for a job. I'm actually waiting for a call for a contractor position with the Defense Logistics Agency...wish me luck...

2005-01-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

I joined a gym today...It's really nice. I ran on the treadmill, worked out my arms, swam a few laps, went in the hot-tub and sauna...I feel realy good right now. Of course to prove that I'm still out of shape, I ordered a fruit smoothie on the way out, but had trouble getting the straw out of the wrapper.

Got Michigan plates for my jeep. My new license (first new picture in 10 years, should be here in a couple of weeks).

2005-01-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

I had to put something about this... I read the other day about a sledding accident that involved 36 people. Apparently a church group had arranged for the kids (part of the Minot, ND Christ for kids organization) to meet up at 4am and go sledding using cardboard boxes as sleds. The piled as many kids as they could into the boxes and sent them down the hill. No one was seriously injured, but the sleds hit rocks, lampost and each other...A big sign stating "NO SLEDDING" was ingnored...Some of the church officials were said to be upset because they hadn't gotten the chance to molest any of the children before the accident...

OK, so I added the punchline but it was still funny to think about...

2005-01-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

Update on the passport... I have it.

2005-01-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

I can't find my passport. If you know where it is, please let me know. Thanks.

2005-01-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

I'm back! Had a great time in Germany. I was sad to leave Aidan. Shanna and I even got along really well all week. The only bad part is that Aidan accidentally erased the pictures on my digital camera. Oh well...I have the memories.

Went to some friends of Amber for New Years. We had fun. Didn't get too drunk because we had to drive back that night.

A lot of things to do this week: contact school and find out when I can start classes again, start working out again, contact people about a job (I guess that's the important one). Wish me luck.

I quit drinking pop..well after I get rid of the stuff in the fridge. I hope it goes well.

I'm not sorry about the frequency of my post, as only 2 or 3 people ever read this site anyway...

I got a new computer desk today. It matches my entertainment center. I also got a chair to go with it... trying to do anything while the computer and keyboard are on the floor sucked. This is much better.

My apartment is starting to look more like a home...I'll post some pics soon. I want to find out how much space I get from Comcast, and maybe I'll put another web site out there...

That's about it for now. I'll try and put some stuff up about job hunting etc when I can...

Cheers
Tim

2004-12-12T06:41:00.000-08:00

I'm here. My stuff is suppose to be dropped off today. It is snowing though (it does that here in Michigan...apparently it also gets cold). I still have a lot of shopping to do though. I need living room furniture, a small dining table, a computer desk...and all the other fun things that go with moving into a new place.

More later...
Tim

2004-12-08T06:08:00.000-08:00

I'm OUT! of the military that is... Today I am no longer TSgt Reider... It feels great! I'm so happy. Much more so since my final pay from the AF actually made it into my account. Busy couple of weeks coming up. Tomorrow the movers come to get my stuff. Early Friday I take off for Michigan. Once I get there I have a lot of stuff to do so that my place will be set up right. On the 19th it's back to DC for the night before heading out to Germany on the 20th. I'm very excited to see Aidan. It's been the longest 6 months of my life without him here. I'm looking forward to having him with me again.

I'm off to get some breakfast and give my carpet cleaner back to Jeff.

My Christmas cards may be a little late this year. I wanted to make sure I was in my new place before I sent them out...

Cheers!
Tim

2004-12-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

A couple of recent photos...

2004-11-25T10:40:00.000-08:00

Changed the setting for commenting so anyone should be able to comment now... someone please try it out so I know if it works...more later...battery on laptop about to die...

Happy Thankgiving
Tim

2004-11-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

Couldn't wait any longer...I was going to hold off on posting until I was actually done with the AF. I have a 9 o'clock appointment tomorrow, and then that's it. I'll never have to put on a uniform again. OK, maybe never. I may still join the reserves at some point if they can offer me a position within my career field.

I take off immediately following the appointment to Amber's place in Michigan. I can't wait. I always have a great time out there.

I sent an email out with my new address...if you got dropped from the list, send a $5 check or money order to my old address and in 2-3 weeks you'll receive the update. Or you can email me and ask for it. My new place should be very cool. Wood burning fireplace. Balcony. Instant-on-lighting. The works. All I need now is furniture for it. It's going to be nice to pick out new stuff that matches my taste. I've never really done that. It's always been stuff I bought used from someone else, or stuff I got for free, or stuff I bought in conjunction with the ex. It's not that I didn't like that stuff, it's just that now it will really be stuff that I picked out for myself...

OK, I need to go spend some time on the treadmill and then roast a chicken for dinner...

Tim

2004-11-05T05:01:00.000-08:00

What the fuck is wrong with this country? No I'm not talking about the elections... I'm talking about Comedy Central getting rid of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn... Next to dumping SNL in favor of MadTV, this is probably the stupidest thing they've done on that channel. At least I still have John Stewart's show for now...

Got a new digital camera. It's still charging, but I'll try and get some pics posted soon. I also got a photo printer because I'm too lazy to take the disk over to CVS to them printed. Both items are from HP, I'll post a review after I've used them for a while...

Heading to Michigan this afternoon (I've stopped saying Detroit because it's not really Detroit, and I avoid any negative conotation associated with Hockey Town).

My going away lunch is Friday Nov 12 at 1300 at Capitol City Brewery in Shirlington. If you love me, attend...If you hate me and have a hit out on me, you now have time and location...act accordingly.

2004-10-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

treider@gmail.com

2004-10-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Actually got the test off Shanna's page

I felt like shit earlier today and almost decided to cut class. I didn't think my presentation on the Borders Group was that good. I'm now glad that I went, as I got an A+ on my presentation. I also got an A on the quiz on network infrastuctures. I rule.

Not going to mention any more about Boston until it's over...

Going to the courthouse to file the divorce paperwork on Thursday...if all goes according to plan, the divorce could be finalized by Thanksgiving... I see that as a good thing as me and the ex can really move on with our respective lives...

Good chance Aidan will move to Michigan with me this summer. I just need to be settled into a place, and have a job...I can do that! Getting him back with me is my main focus right now. Not that his mom is doing a bad job or anything, I just want him with me. If you're a parent, you understand...

OK, I need to go and make dinner...

Cheers!
Tim

P.S... It would be nice to see some comments occasionally!

P.P.S. Happy Birthday Dad! (26 Oct)

2004-10-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

Went and saw Team America with Jeff and Karen on my B-day. Very funny movie.

2004-10-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

It is now Friday 10/15/2004 at 8:00:00 AM
Event: I am this old!!
Scheduled For 10/15/1973 08:00 AM
31 years 0 seconds or
1,617 weekends or
11,323 days or
271,752 hours (181,168 waking hours) or
16,305,120 minutes or
978,307,200 seconds

2004-10-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday. 31 today. I talked to Amber first thing this morning so I'm off to a good start. Yes, that's the first time I've mentioned her name here. I'll post her address, home phone and SSN in a later post. I'm going to a Thai restaurant in Old Town Alexandria with my brother and his wife for dinner. Other than that, nothing special planned. I have some school work to get done this weekend.

Talked with the AF reserve recruiter yesterday. Didn't sign anything, just waiting to see if Michigan can still create a position for me.

That's about it for now...

Tim

2004-10-13T04:08:00.000-07:00

Went here on Friday. We had a great time. Michigan definitely felt much more like fall than the DC area(although it is cooling down here). Fall is my favorite time of year.

I'm going to watch the debate tonight just for fun. I really hope Kerry does well enough to get rid of Bush, even though I don't really like Kerry either.

Boston Market delivers. I enjoyed a nice half chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy and some green beans and mac-n-cheese last night...very satisfying. Good thing I did a half hour on the treadmill first...

Speaking of Boston...why bother coming back from an 8 point deficit if you're not going to win...Oh well maybe tonight...If Matsui gets caught in traffic or something we may have chance.

I love the way people keep tying Kerry and Christopher Reeve together in way that makes it seem like if you support either of them, or stem cell research, then you're next...

OK, more later
Tim

2004-10-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've been adding things to my Wishlist

Right now my plans (at least in my mind, and of course subject to change) are:

Nov 19: - Final Outprocessing appointment with the Air Force
- Take off for Michigan to spend Thanksgiving there

Nov 29: Head back to DC to finish packing and have movers pick up stuff (still not a definite date on when they will do that)

Dec 10: Move into new apartment in Mich

Dec 12: Take a nap

Sometime in Dec: hopefully the divorce will be finalized

Dec 19: Fly out to DC to catch flight to Germany the next day

Dec 25: Christmas (Now that I've put it on my calendar, the rest of you may feel free to assume Christmas will be held on 25 Dec this year)

Dec 27: Head back to the states

Dec 28: Take yet another nap

Dec 31: Spend New Year's with perfect woman

Jan 3: Hopefully be starting new job...otherwise working on resume, interviewing and maybe panicking a little...

This is just a rough outline. I may add more things when I know more....

Cheers
Tim

2004-10-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

Nothing against Joe Gibbs, but you'd think a coach as good as him could at least manage to get his team to beat the fucking Browns... Detroit had the week off, but I think I may start cheering for them a lot more...I mean I am moving there.

Just for the record, I think Kerry won the debate, but neither man impressed me the other night. I am going to pick up a copy of Fahrenheit 911 this week...I'm voting against Bush anyway, but I still want to see that movie...

Aidan's wishlist is up on Amazon at http://amazon.com/gp/registry/15P4A59O42BIY

I'll have mine up soon. I might just register at Target for Christmas so that I can get stuff to make my apartment livable.

I have no interest at all in my current job. They made me write my own performance appraisal. Now that it's done, anything I do doesn't mean a thing...not that it ever really did there. I not only want to burn this particular bridge, I want to gather the senior leadership onto it and then blow the fucker apart... Trust me, you should all be scared that those kind of people work for the government...

OK, I have homework to do.

Cheers
Tim

2004-09-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite stories...some of you will remember that an earlier version of my blog was titled after this story...happy reading.

THE MACHINE STOPS
by E.M. Forster (1909)
I
THE AIR-SHIP

Imagine, if you can, a small room, hexagonal in shape, like the cell of a bee. It is lighted neither by window nor by lamp, yet it is filled with a soft radiance. There are no apertures for ventilation, yet the air is fresh. There are no musical instruments, and yet, at the moment that my meditation opens, this room is throbbing with melodious sounds. An armchair is in the centre, by its side a reading-desk - that is all the furniture. And in the armchair there sits a swaddled lump of flesh - a woman, about five feet high, with a face as white as a fungus. It is to her that the little room belongs.
An electric bell rang.
The woman touched a switch and the music was silent.
'I suppose I must see who it is', she thought, and set her chair in motion. The chair, like the music, was worked by machinery and it rolled her to the other side of the room where the bell still rang importunately.
'Who is it?' she called. Her voice was irritable, for she had been interrupted often since the music began. She knew several thousand people, in certain directions human intercourse had advanced enormously.
But when she listened into the receiver, her white face wrinkled into smiles, and she said:
'Very well. Let us talk, I will isolate myself. I do not expect anything important will happen for the next five minutes - for I can give you fully five minutes, Kuno. Then I must deliver my lecture on "Music during the Australian Period".'
She touched the isolation knob, so that no one else could speak to her. Then she touched the lighting apparatus, and the little room was plunged into darkness.
'Be quick!' she called, her irritation returning. 'Be quick, Kuno; here I am in the dark wasting my time.'
But it was fully fifteen seconds before the round plate that she held in her hands began to glow. A faint blue light shot across it, darkening to purple, and presently she could see the image of her son, who lived on the other side of the earth, and he could see her.
'Kuno, how slow you are.'
He smiled gravely.
'I really believe you enjoy dawdling.'
'I have called you before, mother, but you were always busy or isolated. I have something particular to say.'
'What is it, dearest boy? Be quick. Why could you not send it by pneumatic post?'
'Because I prefer saying such a thing. I want----'
'Well?'
'I want you to come and see me.'
Vashti watched his face in the blue plate.
'But I can see you!' she exclaimed. 'What more do you want?'
'I want to see you not through the Machine,' said Kuno. 'I want to speak to you not through the wearisome Machine.'
'Oh, hush!' said his mother, vaguely shocked. 'You mustn't say anything against the Machine.'
'Why not?'
'One mustn't.'
'You talk as if a god had made the Machine,' cried the other.
'I believe that you pray to it when you are unhappy. Men made it, do not forget that. Great men, but men. The Machine is much, but it is not everything. I see something like you in this plate, but I do not see you. I hear something like you through this telephone, but I do not hear you. That is why I want you to come. Pay me a visit, so that we can meet face to face, and talk about the hopes that are in my mind.'
She replied that she could scarcely spare the time for a visit.
'The air-ship barely takes two days to fly between me and you.'
'I dislike air-ships.'
'Why?'
'I dislike seeing the horrible brown earth, and the sea, and the stars when it is dark. I get no ideas in an air- ship.'
'I do not get them anywhere else.'
'What kind of ideas can the air give you?' He paused for an instant.
'Do you not know four big stars that form an oblong, and three stars close together in the middle of the oblong, and hanging from these stars, three other stars?'
'No, I do not. I dislike the stars. But did they give you an idea? How interesting; tell me.'
'I had an idea that they were like a man.'
'I do not understand.'
'The four big stars are the man's shoulders and his knees.
The three stars in the middle are like the belts that men wore once, and the three stars hanging are like a sword.'
'A sword?'
'Men carried swords about with them, to kill animals and other men.'
'It does not strike me as a very good idea, but it is certainly original. When did it come to you first?'
'In the air-ship-----' He broke off, and she fancied that he looked sad. She could not be sure, for the Machine did not transmit nuances of expression. It only gave a general idea of people - an idea that was good enough for all practical purposes, Vashti thought. The imponderable bloom, declared by a discredited philosophy to be the actual essence of intercourse, was rightly ignored by the Machine, just as the imponderable bloom of the grape was ignored by the manufacturers of artificial fruit. Something 'good enough' had long since been accepted by our race.
'The truth is,' he continued, 'that I want to see these stars again. They are curious stars. I want to see them not from the air-ship, but from the surface of the earth, as our ancestors did, thousands of years ago. I want to visit the surface of the earth.'
She was shocked again.
'Mother, you must come, if only to explain to me what is the harm of visiting the surface of the earth.'
'No harm,' she replied, controlling herself. 'But no advantage. The surface of the earth is only dust and mud, no advantage. The surface of the earth is only dust and mud, no life remains on it, and you would need a respirator, or the cold of the outer air would kill you. One dies immediately in the outer air.'
'I know; of course I shall take all precautions.'
'And besides----'
'Well?'
She considered, and chose her words with care. Her son had a queer temper, and she wished to dissuade him from the expedition.
'It is contrary to the spirit of the age,' she asserted.
'Do you mean by that, contrary to the Machine?'
'In a sense, but----'
His image is the blue plate faded.
'Kuno!'
He had isolated himself.
For a moment Vashti felt lonely.
Then she generated the light, and the sight of her room, flooded with radiance and studded with electric buttons, revived her. There were buttons and switches everywhere - buttons to call for food for music, for clothing. There was the hot-bath button, by pressure of which a basin of (imitation) marble rose out of the floor, filled to the brim with a warm deodorized liquid. There was the cold-bath button. There was the button that produced literature. And there were of course the buttons by which she communicated with her friends. The room, though it contained nothing, was in touch with all that she cared for in the world.
Vashanti's next move was to turn off the isolation switch, and all the accumulations of the last three minutes burst upon her. The room was filled with the noise of bells, and speaking-tubes. What was the new food like? Could she recommend it? Has she had any ideas lately? Might one tell her one's own ideas? Would she make an engagement to visit the public nurseries at an early date? - say this day month.
To most of these questions she replied with irritation - a growing quality in that accelerated age. She said that the new food was horrible. That she could not visit the public nurseries through press of engagements. That she had no ideas of her own but had just been told one-that four stars and three in the middle were like a man: she doubted there was much in it. Then she switched off her correspondents, for it was time to deliver her lecture on Australian music.
The clumsy system of public gatherings had been long since abandoned; neither Vashti nor her audience stirred from their rooms. Seated in her armchair she spoke, while they in their armchairs heard her, fairly well, and saw her, fairly well. She opened with a humorous account of music in the pre Mongolian epoch, and went on to describe the great outburst of song that followed the Chinese conquest. Remote and primæval as were the methods of I-San-So and the Brisbane school, she yet felt (she said) that study of them might repay the musicians of today: they had freshness; they had, above all, ideas. Her lecture, which lasted ten minutes, was well received, and at its conclusion she and many of her audience listened to a lecture on the sea; there were ideas to be got from the sea; the speaker had donned a respirator and visited it lately. Then she fed, talked to many friends, had a bath, talked again, and summoned her bed.
The bed was not to her liking. It was too large, and she had a feeling for a small bed. Complaint was useless, for beds were of the same dimension all over the world, and to have had an alternative size would have involved vast alterations in the Machine. Vashti isolated herself-it was necessary, for neither day nor night existed under the ground-and reviewed all that had happened since she had summoned the bed last. Ideas? Scarcely any. Events - was Kuno's invitation an event?
By her side, on the little reading-desk, was a survival from the ages of litter - one book. This was the Book of the Machine. In it were instructions against every possible contingency. If she was hot or cold or dyspeptic or at a loss for a word, she went to the book, and it told her which button to press. The Central Committee published it. In accordance with a growing habit, it was richly bound.
Sitting up in the bed, she took it reverently in her hands. She glanced round the glowing room as if some one might be watching her. Then, half ashamed, half joyful, she murmured 'O Machine! O Machine!' and raised the volume to her lips. Thrice she kissed it, thrice inclined her head, thrice she felt the delirium of acquiescence. Her ritual performed, she turned to page 1367, which gave the times of the departure of the air-ships from the island in the southern hemisphere, under whose soil she lived, to the island in the northern hemisphere, whereunder lived her son.
She thought, 'I have not the time.'
She made the room dark and slept; she awoke and made the room light; she ate and exchanged ideas with her friends, and listened to music and attended lectures; she make the room dark and slept. Above her, beneath her, and around her, the Machine hummed eternally; she did not notice the noise, for she had been born with it in her ears. The earth, carrying her, hummed as it sped through silence, turning her now to the invisible sun, now to the invisible stars. She awoke and made the room light.
'Kuno!'
'I will not talk to you.' he answered, 'until you come.'
'Have you been on the surface of the earth since we spoke last?'
His image faded.
Again she consulted the book. She became very nervous and lay back in her chair palpitating. Think of her as without teeth or hair. Presently she directed the chair to the wall, and pressed an unfamiliar button. The wall swung apart slowly. Through the opening she saw a tunnel that curved slightly, so that its goal was not visible. Should she go to see her son, here was the beginning of the journey.
Of course she knew all about the communication-system. There was nothing mysterious in it. She would summon a car and it would fly with her down the tunnel until it reached the lift that communicated with the air-ship station: the system had been in use for many, many years, long before the universal establishment of the Machine. And of course she had studied the civilization that had immediately preceded her own - the civilization that had mistaken the functions of the system, and had used it for bringing people to things, instead of for bringing things to people. Those funny old days, when men went for change of air instead of changing the air in their rooms! And yet-she was frightened of the tunnel: she had not seen it since her last child was born. It curved-but not quite as she remembered; it was brilliant-but not quite as brilliant as a lecturer had suggested. Vashti was seized with the terrors of direct experience. She shrank back into the room, and the wall closed up again.
'Kuno,' she said, 'I cannot come to see you. I am not well.'
Immediately an enormous apparatus fell on to her out of the ceiling, a thermometer was automatically laid upon her heart. She lay powerless. Cool pads soothed her forehead. Kuno had telegraphed to her doctor.
So the human passions still blundered up and down in the Machine. Vashti drank the medicine that the doctor projected into her mouth, and the machinery retired into the ceiling. The voice of Kuno was heard asking how she felt.
'Better.' Then with irritation: 'But why do you not come to me instead?'
'Because I cannot leave this place.'
'Why?'
'Because, any moment, something tremendous many happen.'
'Have you been on the surface of the earth yet?'
'Not yet.'
'Then what is it?'
'I will not tell you through the Machine.'
She resumed her life.
But she thought of Kuno as a baby, his birth, his removal to the public nurseries, her own visit to him there, his visits to her-visits which stopped when the Machine had assigned him a room on the other side of the earth. 'Parents, duties of,' said the book of the Machine,' cease at the moment of birth. P.422327483.' True, but there was something special about Kuno - indeed there had been something special about all her children - and, after all, she must brave the journey if he desired it. And 'something tremendous might happen'. What did that mean? The nonsense of a youthful man, no doubt, but she must go. Again she pressed the unfamiliar button, again the wall swung back, and she saw the tunnel that curves out of sight. Clasping the Book, she rose, tottered on to the platform, and summoned the car. Her room closed behind her: the journey to the northern hemisphere had begun.
Of course it was perfectly easy. The car approached and in it she found armchairs exactly like her own. When she signalled, it stopped, and she tottered into the lift. One other passenger was in the lift, the first fellow creature she had seen face to face for months. Few travelled in these days, for, thanks to the advance of science, the earth was exactly alike all over. Rapid intercourse, from which the previous civilization had hoped so much, had ended by defeating itself. What was the good of going to Peking when it was just like Shrewsbury? Why return to Shrewsbury when it would all be like Peking? Men seldom moved their bodies; all unrest was concentrated in the soul.
The air-ship service was a relic from the former age. It was kept up, because it was easier to keep it up than to stop it or to diminish it, but it now far exceeded the wants of the population. Vessel after vessel would rise from the vomitories of Rye or of Christchurch (I use the antique names), would sail into the crowded sky, and would draw up at the wharves of the south - empty. So nicely adjusted was the system, so independent of meteorology, that the sky, whether calm or cloudy, resembled a vast kaleidoscope whereon the same patterns periodically recurred. The ship on which Vashti sailed started now at sunset, now at dawn. But always, as it passed above Rheas, it would neighbour the ship that served between Helsingfors and the Brazils, and, every third time it surmounted the Alps, the fleet of Palermo would cross its track behind. Night and day, wind and storm, tide and earthquake, impeded man no longer. He had harnessed Leviathan. All the old literature, with its praise of Nature, and its fear of Nature, rang false as the prattle of a child.
Yet as Vashti saw the vast flank of the ship, stained with exposure to the outer air, her horror of direct experience returned. It was not quite like the air-ship in the cinematophote. For one thing it smelt - not strongly or unpleasantly, but it did smell, and with her eyes shut she should have known that a new thing was close to her. Then she had to walk to it from the lift, had to submit to glances from the other passengers. The man in front dropped his Book - no great matter, but it disquieted them all. In the rooms, if the Book was dropped, the floor raised it mechanically, but the gangway to the air-ship was not so prepared, and the sacred volume lay motionless. They stopped - the thing was unforeseen - and the man, instead of picking up his property, felt the muscles of his arm to see how they had failed him. Then some one actually said with direct utterance: 'We shall be late' - and they trooped on board, Vashti treading on the pages as she did so.
Inside, her anxiety increased. The arrangements were old- fashioned and rough. There was even a female attendant, to whom she would have to announce her wants during the voyage. Of course a revolving platform ran the length of the boat, but she was expected to walk from it to her cabin. Some cabins were better than others, and she did not get the best. She thought the attendant had been unfair, and spasms of rage shook her. The glass valves had closed, she could not go back. She saw, at the end of the vestibule, the lift in which she had ascended going quietly up and down, empty. Beneath those corridors of shining tiles were rooms, tier below tier, reaching far into the earth, and in each room there sat a human being, eating, or sleeping, or producing ideas. And buried deep in the hive was her own room. Vashti was afraid.
'O Machine!' she murmured, and caressed her Book, and was comforted.
Then the sides of the vestibule seemed to melt together, as do the passages that we see in dreams, the lift vanished, the Book that had been dropped slid to the left and vanished, polished tiles rushed by like a stream of water, there was a slight jar, and the air-ship, issuing from its tunnel, soared above the waters of a tropical ocean.
It was night. For a moment she saw the coast of Sumatra edged by the phosphorescence of waves, and crowned by lighthouses, still sending forth their disregarded beams. These also vanished, and only the stars distracted her. They were not motionless, but swayed to and fro above her head, thronging out of one sky-light into another, as if the universe and not the air-ship was careening. And, as often happens on clear nights, they seemed now to be in perspective, now on a plane; now piled tier beyond tier into the infinite heavens, now concealing infinity, a roof limiting for ever the visions of men. In either case they seemed intolerable. 'Are we to travel in the dark?' called the passengers angrily, and the attendant, who had been careless, generated the light, and pulled down the blinds of pliable metal. When the air-ships had been built, the desire to look direct at things still lingered in the world. Hence the extraordinary number of skylights and windows, and the proportionate discomfort to those who were civilized and refined. Even in Vashti's cabin one star peeped through a flaw in the blind, and after a few hers' uneasy slumber, she was disturbed by an unfamiliar glow, which was the dawn.
Quick as the ship had sped westwards, the earth had rolled eastwards quicker still, and had dragged back Vashti and her companions towards the sun. Science could prolong the night, but only for a little, and those high hopes of neutralizing the earth's diurnal revolution had passed, together with hopes that were possibly higher. To 'keep pace with the sun,' or even to outstrip it, had been the aim of the civilization preceding this. Racing aeroplanes had been built for the purpose, capable of enormous speed, and steered by the greatest intellects of the epoch. Round the globe they went, round and round, westward, westward, round and round, amidst humanity's applause. In vain. The globe went eastward quicker still, horrible accidents occurred, and the Committee of the Machine, at the time rising into prominence, declared the pursuit illegal, unmechanical, and punishable by Homelessness.
Of Homelessness more will be said later.
Doubtless the Committee was right. Yet the attempt to 'defeat the sun' aroused the last common interest that our race experienced about the heavenly bodies, or indeed about anything. It was the last time that men were compacted by thinking of a power outside the world. The sun had conquered, yet it was the end of his spiritual dominion. Dawn, midday, twilight, the zodiacal path, touched neither men's lives not their hearts, and science retreated into the ground, to concentrate herself upon problems that she was certain of solving.
So when Vashti found her cabin invaded by a rosy finger of light, she was annoyed, and tried to adjust the blind. But the blind flew up altogether, and she saw through the skylight small pink clouds, swaying against a background of blue, and as the sun crept higher, its radiance entered direct, brimming down the wall, like a golden sea. It rose and fell with the air-ship's motion, just as waves rise and fall, but it advanced steadily, as a tide advances. Unless she was careful, it would strike her face. A spasm of horror shook her and she rang for the attendant. The attendant too was horrified, but she could do nothing; it was not her place to mend the blind. She could only suggest that the lady should change her cabin, which she accordingly prepared to do.
People were almost exactly alike all over the world, but the attendant of the air-ship, perhaps owing to her exceptional duties, had grown a little out of the common. She had often to address passengers with direct speech, and this had given her a certain roughness and originality of manner. When Vashti swerved away from the sunbeams with a cry, she behaved barbarically - she put out her hand to steady her.
'How dare you!' exclaimed the passenger. 'You forget yourself!'
The woman was confused, and apologized for not having let her fall. People never touched one another. The custom had become obsolete, owing to the Machine.
'Where are we now?' asked Vashti haughtily.
'We are over Asia,' said the attendant, anxious to be polite.
'Asia?'
'You must excuse my common way of speaking. I have got into the habit of calling places over which I pass by their unmechanical names.'
'Oh, I remember Asia. The Mongols came from it.'
'Beneath us, in the open air, stood a city that was once called Simla.' 'Have you ever heard of the Mongols and of the Brisbane school?'
'No.'
'Brisbane also stood in the open air.'
'Those mountains to the right - let me show you them.' She pushed back a metal blind. The main chain of the Himalayas was revealed. 'They were once called the Roof of the World, those mountains.'
'You must remember that, before the dawn of civilization, they seemed to be an impenetrable wall that touched the stars. It was supposed that no one but the gods could exist above their summits. How we have advanced, thanks to the Machine!'
'How we have advanced, thanks to the Machine!' said Vashti.
'How we have advanced, thanks to the Machine!' echoed the passenger who had dropped his Book the night before, and who was standing in the passage.
'And that white stuff in the cracks? - what is it?'
'I have forgotten its name.'
'Cover the window, please. These mountains give me no ideas.'
The northern aspect of the Himalayas was in deep shadow: on the Indian slope the sun had just prevailed. The forests had been destroyed during the literature epoch for the purpose of making newspaper-pulp, but the snows were awakening to their morning glory, and clouds still hung on the breasts of Kinchinjunga. In the plain were seen the ruins of cities, with diminished rivers creeping by their walls, and by the sides of these were sometimes the signs of vomitories, marking the cities of to day. Over the whole prospect air-ships rushed, crossing the inter-crossing with incredible aplomb, and rising nonchalantly when they desired to escape the perturbations of the lower atmosphere and to traverse the Roof of the World.
'We have indeed advance, thanks to the Machine,' repeated the attendant, and hid the Himalayas behind a metal blind.
The day dragged wearily forward. The passengers sat each in his cabin, avoiding one another with an almost physical repulsion and longing to be once more under the surface of the earth. There were eight or ten of them, mostly young males, sent out from the public nurseries to inhabit the rooms of those who had died in various parts of the earth. The man who had dropped his Book was on the homeward journey. He had been sent to Sumatra for the purpose of propagating the race. Vashti alone was travelling by her private will.
At midday she took a second glance at the earth. The air-ship was crossing another range of mountains, but she could see little, owing to clouds. Masses of black rock hovered below her, and merged indistinctly into grey. Their shapes were fantastic; one of them resembled a prostrate man.
'No ideas here,' murmured Vashti, and hid the Caucasus behind a metal blind.
In the evening she looked again. They were crossing a golden sea, in which lay many small islands and one peninsula. She repeated, 'No ideas here,' and hid Greece behind a metal blind.

II
THE MENDING APPARATUS

By a vestibule, by a lift, by a tubular railway, by a platform, by a sliding door - by reversing all the steps of her departure did Vashti arrive at her son's room, which exactly resembled her own. She might well declare that the visit was superfluous. The buttons, the knobs, the reading-desk with the Book, the temperature, the atmosphere, the illumination - all were exactly the same. And if Kuno himself, flesh of her flesh, stood close beside her at last, what profit was there in that? She was too well-bred to shake him by the hand.
Averting her eyes, she spoke as follows:
'Here I am. I have had the most terrible journey and greatly retarded the development of my soul. It is not worth it, Kuno, it is not worth it. My time is too precious. The sunlight almost touched me, and I have met with the rudest people. I can only stop a few minutes. Say what you want to say, and then I must return.'
'I have been threatened with Homelessness,' said Kuno.
She looked at him now.
'I have been threatened with Homelessness, and I could not tell you such a thing through the Machine.'
Homelessness means death. The victim is exposed to the air, which kills him.
'I have been outside since I spoke to you last. The tremendous thing has happened, and they have discovered me.'
'But why shouldn't you go outside?' she exclaimed, 'It is perfectly legal, perfectly mechanical, to visit the surface of the earth. I have lately been to a lecture on the sea; there is no objection to that; one simply summons a respirator and gets an Egression-permit. It is not the kind of thing that spiritually minded people do, and I begged you not to do it, but there is no legal objection to it.'
'I did not get an Egression-permit.'
'Then how did you get out?'
'I found out a way of my own.'
The phrase conveyed no meaning to her, and he had to repeat it.
'A way of your own?' she whispered. 'But that would be wrong.'
'Why?'
The question shocked her beyond measure.
'You are beginning to worship the Machine,' he said coldly.
'You think it irreligious of me to have found out a way of my own. It was just what the Committee thought, when they threatened me with Homelessness.'
At this she grew angry. 'I worship nothing!' she cried. 'I am most advanced. I don't think you irreligious, for there is no such thing as religion left. All the fear and the superstition that existed once have been destroyed by the Machine. I only meant that to find out a way of your own was----Besides, there is no new way out.'
'So it is always supposed.'
'Except through the vomitories, for which one must have an Egression-permit, it is impossible to get out. The Book says so.'
'Well, the Book's wrong, for I have been out on my feet.'
For Kuno was possessed of a certain physical strength.
By these days it was a demerit to be muscular. Each infant was examined at birth, and all who promised undue strength were destroyed. Humanitarians may protest, but it would have been no true kindness to let an athlete live; he would never have been happy in that state of life to which the Machine had called him; he would have yearned for trees to climb, rivers to bathe in, meadows and hills against which he might measure his body. Man must be adapted to his surroundings, must he not? In the dawn of the world our weakly must be exposed on Mount Taygetus, in its twilight our strong will suffer euthanasia, that the Machine may progress, that the Machine may progress, that the Machine may progress eternally.
'You know that we have lost the sense of space. We say 'space is annihilated', but we have annihilated not space, but the sense thereof. We have lost a part of ourselves. I determined to recover it, and I began by walking up and down the platform of the railway outside my room. Up and down, until I was tired, and so did recapture the meaning of "Near" and "Far". "Near" is a place to which I can get quickly on my feet, not a place to which the train or the air-ship will take me quickly. 'Far' is a place to which I cannot get quickly on my feet; the vomitory is 'far', though I could be there in thirty-eight seconds by summoning the train. Man is the measure. That was my first lesson. Man's feet are the measure for distance, his hands are the measure for ownership, his body is the measure for all that is lovable and desirable and strong. Then I went further: it was then that I called to you for the first time, and you would not come.
'This city, as you know, is built deep beneath the surface of the earth, with only the vomitories protruding. Having paced the platform outside my own room, I took the lift to the next platform and paced that also, and so with each in turn, until I came to the topmost, above which begins the earth. All the platforms were exactly alike, and all that I gained by visiting them was to develop my sense of space and my muscles. I think I should have been content with this - it is not a little thing, - but as I walked and brooded, it occurred to me that our cities had been built in the days when men still breathed the outer air, and that there had been ventilation shafts for the workmen. I could think of nothing but these ventilation shafts. Had they been destroyed by all the food-tubes and medicine-tubes and music-tubes that the Machine has evolved lately? Or did traces of them remain? One thing was certain. If I came upon them anywhere, it would be in the railway-tunnels of the topmost storey. Everywhere else, all space was accounted for.
'I am telling my story quickly, but don't think that I was not a coward or that your answers never depressed me. It is not the proper thing, it is not mechanical, it is not decent to walk along a railway-tunnel. I did not fear that I might tread upon a live rail and be killed. I feared something far more intangible - doing what was not contemplated by the Machine. Then I said to myself, "Man is the measure", and I went, and after many visits I found an opening.
'The tunnels, of course, were lighted. Everything is light, artificial light; darkness is the exception. So when I saw a black gap in the tiles, I knew that it was an exception, and rejoiced. I put in my arm - I could put in no more at first - and waved it round and round in ecstasy. I loosened another tile, and put in my head, and shouted into the darkness: "I am coming, I shall do it yet," and my voice reverberated down endless passages. I seemed to hear the spirits of those dead workmen who had returned each evening to the starlight and to their wives, and all the generations who had lived in the open air called back to me, "You will do it yet, you are coming,"'
He paused, and, absurd as he was, his last words moved her.
For Kuno had lately asked to be a father, and his request had been refused by the Committee. His was not a type that the Machine desired to hand on.
'Then a train passed. It brushed by me, but I thrust my head and arms into the hole. I had done enough for one day, so I crawled back to the platform, went down in the lift, and summoned my bed. Ah what dreams! And again I called you, and again you refused.'
She shook her head and said:
'Don't. Don't talk of these terrible things. You make me miserable. You are throwing civilization away.'
'But I had got back the sense of space and a man cannot rest then. I determined to get in at the hole and climb the shaft. And so I exercised my arms. Day after day I went through ridiculous movements, until my flesh ached, and I could hang by my hands and hold the pillow of my bed outstretched for many minutes. Then I summoned a respirator, and started.
'It was easy at first. The mortar had somehow rotted, and I soon pushed some more tiles in, and clambered after them into the darkness, and the spirits of the dead comforted me. I don't know what I mean by that. I just say what I felt. I felt, for the first time, that a protest had been lodged against corruption, and that even as the dead were comforting me, so I was comforting the unborn. I felt that humanity existed, and that it existed without clothes. How can I possibly explain this? It was naked, humanity seemed naked, and all these tubes and buttons and machineries neither came into the world with us, nor will they follow us out, nor do they matter supremely while we are here. Had I been strong, I would have torn off every garment I had, and gone out into the outer air unswaddled. But this is not for me, nor perhaps for my generation. I climbed with my respirator and my hygienic clothes and my dietetic tabloids! Better thus than not at all.
'There was a ladder, made of some primæval metal. The light from the railway fell upon its lowest rungs, and I saw that it led straight upwards out of the rubble at the bottom of the shaft. Perhaps our ancestors ran up and down it a dozen times daily, in their building. As I climbed, the rough edges cut through my gloves so that my hands bled. The light helped me for a little, and then came darkness and, worse still, silence which pierced my ears like a sword. The Machine hums! Did you know that? Its hum penetrates our blood, and may even guide our thoughts. Who knows! I was getting beyond its power. Then I thought: 'This silence means that I am doing wrong.' But I heard voices in the silence, and again they strengthened me.' He laughed. 'I had need of them. The next moment I cracked my head against something.'
She sighed.
'I had reached one of those pneumatic stoppers that defend us from the outer air. You may have noticed them no the air-ship. Pitch dark, my feet on the rungs of an invisible ladder, my hands cut; I cannot explain how I lived through this part, but the voices still comforted me, and I felt for fastenings. The stopper, I suppose, was about eight feet across. I passed my hand over it as far as I could reach. It was perfectly smooth. I felt it almost to the centre. Not quite to the centre, for my arm was too short. Then the voice said: "Jump. It is worth it. There may be a handle in the centre, and you may catch hold of it and so come to us your own way. And if there is no handle, so that you may fall and are dashed to pieces - it is till worth it: you will still come to us your own way." So I jumped. There was a handle, and ----'
He paused. Tears gathered in his mother's eyes. She knew that he was fated. If he did not die today he would die tomorrow. There was not room for such a person in the world. And with her pity disgust mingled. She was ashamed at having borne such a son, she who had always been so respectable and so full of ideas. Was he really the little boy to whom she had taught the use of his stops and buttons, and to whom she had given his first lessons in the Book? The very hair that disfigured his lip showed that he was reverting to some savage type. On atavism the Machine can have no mercy.
'There was a handle, and I did catch it. I hung tranced over the darkness and heard the hum of these workings as the last whisper in a dying dream. All the things I had cared about and all the people I had spoken to through tubes appeared infinitely little. Meanwhile the handle revolved. My weight had set something in motion and I span slowly, and then----
'I cannot describe it. I was lying with my face to the sunshine. Blood poured from my nose and ears and I heard a tremendous roaring. The stopper, with me clinging to it, had simply been blown out of the earth, and the air that we make down here was escaping through the vent into the air above. It burst up like a fountain. I crawled back to it - for the upper air hurts - and, as it were, I took great sips from the edge. My respirator had flown goodness knows here, my clothes were torn. I just lay with my lips close to the hole, and I sipped until the bleeding stopped. You can imagine nothing so curious. This hollow in the grass - I will speak of it in a minute, - the sun shining into it, not brilliantly but through marbled clouds, - the peace, the nonchalance, the sense of space, and, brushing my cheek, the roaring fountain of our artificial air! Soon I spied my respirator, bobbing up and down in the current high above my head, and higher still were many air-ships. But no one ever looks out of air-ships, and in any case they could not have picked me up. There I was, stranded. The sun shone a little way down the shaft, and revealed the topmost rung of the ladder, but it was hopeless trying to reach it. I should either have been tossed up again by the escape, or else have fallen in, and died. I could only lie on the grass, sipping and sipping, and from time to time glancing around me.
'I knew that I was in Wessex, for I had taken care to go to a lecture on the subject before starting. Wessex lies above the room in which we are talking now. It was once an important state. Its kings held all the southern coast from the Andredswald to Cornwall, while the Wansdyke protected them on the north, running over the high ground. The lecturer was only concerned with the rise of Wessex, so I do not know how long it remained an international power, nor would the knowledge have assisted me. To tell the truth I could do nothing but laugh, during this part. There was I, with a pneumatic stopper by my side and a respirator bobbing over my head, imprisoned, all three of us, in a grass-grown hollow that was edged with fern.'
Then he grew grave again.
'Lucky for me that it was a hollow. For the air began to fall back into it and to fill it as water fills a bowl. I could crawl about. Presently I stood. I breathed a mixture, in which the air that hurts predominated whenever I tried to climb the sides. This was not so bad. I had not lost my tabloids and remained ridiculously cheerful, and as for the Machine, I forgot about it altogether. My one aim now was to get to the top, where the ferns were, and to view whatever objects lay beyond.
'I rushed the slope. The new air was still too bitter for me and I came rolling back, after a momentary vision of something grey. The sun grew very feeble, and I remembered that he was in Scorpio - I had been to a lecture on that too. If the sun is in Scorpio, and you are in Wessex, it means that you must be as quick as you can, or it will get too dark. (This is the first bit of useful information I have ever got from a lecture, and I expect it will be the last.) It made me try frantically to breathe the new air, and to advance as far as I dared out of my pond. The hollow filled so slowly. At times I thought that the fountain played with less vigour. My respirator seemed to dance nearer the earth; the roar was decreasing.'
He broke off.
'I don't think this is interesting you. The rest will interest you even less. There are no ideas in it, and I wish that I had not troubled you to come. We are too different, mother.'
She told him to continue.
'It was evening before I climbed the bank. The sun had very nearly slipped out of the sky by this time, and I could not get a good view. You, who have just crossed the Roof of the World, will not want to hear an account of the little hills that I saw - low colourless hills. But to me they were living and the turf that covered them was a skin, under which their muscles rippled, and I felt that those hills had called with incalculable force to men in the past, and that men had loved them. Now they sleep - perhaps for ever. They commune with humanity in dreams. Happy the man, happy the woman, who awakes the hills of Wessex. For though they sleep, they will never die.'
His voice rose passionately.
'Cannot you see, cannot all you lecturers see, that it is we that are dying, and that down here the only thing that really lives is the Machine? We created the Machine, to do our will, but we cannot make it do our will now. It has robbed us of the sense of space and of the sense of touch, it has blurred every human relation and narrowed down love to a carnal act, it has paralysed our bodies and our wills, and now it compels us to worship it. The Machine develops - but not on our lies. The Machine proceeds - but not to our goal. We only exist as the blood corpuscles that course through its arteries, and if it could work without us, it would let us die. Oh, I have no remedy - or, at least, only one - to tell men again and again that I have seen the hills of Wessex as Ælfrid saw them when he overthrew the Danes.
'So the sun set. I forgot to mention that a belt of mist lay between my hill and other hills, and that it was the colour of pearl.'
He broke off for the second time.
'Go on,' said his mother wearily.
He shook his head.
'Go on. Nothing that you say can distress me now. I am hardened.'
'I had meant to tell you the rest, but I cannot: I know that I cannot: good-bye.'
Vashti stood irresolute. All her nerves were tingling with his blasphemies. But she was also inquisitive.
'This is unfair,' she complained. 'You have called me across the world to hear your story, and hear it I will. Tell me - as briefly as possible, for this is a disastrous waste of time - tell me how you returned to civilization.'
'Oh - that!' he said, starting. 'You would like to hear about civilization. Certainly. Had I got to where my respirator fell down?'
'No - but I understand everything now. You put on your respirator, and managed to walk along the surface of the earth to a vomitory, and there your conduct was reported to the Central Committee.'
'By no means.'
He passed his hand over his forehead, as if dispelling some strong impression. Then, resuming his narrative, he warmed to it again.
'My respirator fell about sunset. I had mentioned that the fountain seemed feebler, had I not?'
'Yes.'
'About sunset, it let the respirator fall. As I said, I had entirely forgotten about the Machine, and I paid no great attention at the time, being occupied with other things. I had my pool of air, into which I could dip when the outer keenness became intolerable, and which would possibly remain for days, provided that no wind sprang up to disperse it. Not until it was too late did I realize what the stoppage of the escape implied. You see - the gap in the tunnel had been mended; the Mending Apparatus; the Mending Apparatus, was after me.
'One other warning I had, but I neglected it. The sky at night was clearer than it had been in the day, and the moon, which was about half the sky behind the sun, shone into the dell at moments quite brightly. I was in my usual place - on the boundary between the two atmospheres - when I thought I saw something dark move across the bottom of the dell, and vanish into the shaft. In my folly, I ran down. I bent over and listened, and I thought I heard a faint scraping noise in the depths.
'At this - but it was too late - I took alarm. I determined to put on my respirator and to walk right out of the dell. But my respirator had gone. I knew exactly where it had fallen - between the stopper and the aperture - and I could even feel the mark that it had made in the turf. It had gone, and I realized that something evil was at work, and I had better escape to the other air, and, if I must die, die running towards the cloud that had been the colour of a pearl. I never started. Out of the shaft - it is too horrible. A worm, a long white worm, had crawled out of the shaft and was gliding over the moonlit grass.
'I screamed. I did everything that I should not have done, I stamped upon the creature instead of flying from it, and it at once curled round the ankle. Then we fought. The worm let me run all over the dell, but edged up my leg as I ran. 'Help!' I cried. (That part is too awful. It belongs to the part that you will never know.) 'Help!' I cried. (Why cannot we suffer in silence?) 'Help!' I cried. When my feet were wound together, I fell, I was dragged away from the dear ferns and the living hills, and past the great metal stopper (I can tell you this part), and I thought it might save me again if I caught hold of the handle. It also was enwrapped, it also. Oh, the whole dell was full of the things. They were searching it in all directions, they were denuding it, and the white snouts of others peeped out of the hole, ready if needed. Everything that could be moved they brought - brushwood, bundles of fern, everything, and down we all went intertwined into hell. The last things that I saw, ere the stopper closed after us, were certain stars, and I felt that a man of my sort lived in the sky. For I did fight, I fought till the very end, and it was only my head hitting against the ladder that quieted me. I woke up in this room. The worms had vanished. I was surrounded by artificial air, artificial light, artificial peace, and my friends were calling to me down speaking-tubes to know whether I had come across any new ideas lately.'
Here his story ended. Discussion of it was impossible, and Vashti turned to go.
'It will end in Homelessness,' she said quietly.
'I wish it would,' retorted Kuno.
'The Machine has been most merciful.'
'I prefer the mercy of God.'
'By that superstitious phrase, do you mean that you could live in the outer air?'
'Yes.'
'Have you ever seen, round the vomitories, the bones of those who were extruded after the Great Rebellion?'
'Yes.'
'They were left where they perished for our edification. A few crawled away, but they perished, too - who can doubt it? And so with the Homeless of our own day. The surface of the earth supports life no longer.'
'Indeed.'
'Ferns and a little grass may survive, but all higher forms have perished. Has any air-ship detected them?'
'No.'
'Has any lecturer dealt with them?'
'No.'
'Then why this obstinacy?'
'Because I have seen them,' he exploded.
'Seen what?'
'Because I have seen her in the twilight - because she came to my help when I called - because she, too, was entangled by the worms, and, luckier than I, was killed by one of them piercing her throat.'
He was mad. Vashti departed, nor, in the troubles that followed, did she ever see his face again.

III
THE HOMELESS

During the years that followed Kuno's escapade, two important developments took place in the Machine. On the surface they were revolutionary, but in either case men's minds had been prepared beforehand, and they did but express tendencies that were latent already.
The first of these was the abolition of respirators.
Advanced thinkers, like Vashti, had always held it foolish to visit the surface of the earth. Air-ships might be necessary, but what was the good of going out for mere curiosity and crawling along for a mile or two in a terrestrial motor? The habit was vulgar and perhaps faintly improper: it was unproductive of ideas, and had no connection with the habits that really mattered. So respirators were abolished, and with them, of course, the terrestrial motors, and except for a few lecturers, who complained that they were debarred access to their subject- matter, the development was accepted quietly. Those who still wanted to know what the earth was like had after all only to listen to some gramophone, or to look into some cinematophote. And even the lecturers acquiesced when they found that a lecture on the sea was none the less stimulating when compiled out of other lectures that had already been delivered on the same subject. 'Beware of first- hand ideas!' exclaimed one of the most advanced of them. 'First-hand ideas do not really exist. They are but the physical impressions produced by live and fear, and on this gross foundation who could erect a philosophy? Let your ideas be second-hand, and if possible tenth-hand, for then they will be far removed from that disturbing element - direct observation. Do not learn anything about this subject of mine - the French Revolution. Learn instead what I think that Enicharmon thought Urizen thought Gutch thought Ho-Yung thought Chi-Bo-Sing thought Lafcadio Hearn thought Carlyle thought Mirabeau said about the French Revolution. Through the medium of these ten great minds, the blood that was shed at Paris and the windows that were broken at Versailles will be clarified to an idea which you may employ most profitably in your daily lives. But be sure that the intermediates are many and varied, for in history one authority exists to counteract another. Urizen must counteract the scepticism of Ho-Yung and Enicharmon, I must myself counteract the impetuosity of Gutch. You who listen to me are in a better position to judge about the French Revolution than I am. Your descendants will be even in a better position than you, for they will learn what you think I think, and yet another intermediate will be added to the chain. And in time' - his voice rose - 'there will come a generation that had got beyond facts, beyond impressions, a generation absolutely colourless, a generation

seraphically free
From taint of personality,
which will see the French Revolution not as it happened, nor as they would like it to have happened, but as it would have happened, had it taken place in the days of the Machine.'
Tremendous applause greeted this lecture, which did but voice a feeling already latent in the minds of men - a feeling that terrestrial facts must be ignored, and that the abolition of respirators was a positive gain. It was even suggested that air-ships should be abolished too. This was not done, because air-ships had somehow worked themselves into the Machine's system. But year by year they were used less, and mentioned less by thoughtful men.
The second great development was the re-establishment of religion.
This, too, had been voiced in the celebrated lecture. No one could mistake the reverent tone in which the peroration had concluded, and it awakened a responsive echo in the heart of each. Those who had long worshipped silently, now began to talk. They described the strange feeling of peace that came over them when they handled the Book of the Machine, the pleasure that it was to repeat certain numerals out of it, however little meaning those numerals conveyed to the outward ear, the ecstasy of touching a button, however unimportant, or of ringing an electric bell, however superfluously.
'The Machine,' they exclaimed, 'feeds us and clothes us and houses us; through it we speak to one another, through it we see one another, in it we have our being. The Machine is the friend of ideas and the enemy of superstition: the Machine is omnipotent, eternal; blessed is the Machine.' And before long this allocution was printed on the first page of the Book, and in subsequent editions the ritual swelled into a complicated system of praise and prayer. The word 'religion' was sedulously avoided, and in theory the Machine was still the creation and the implement of man. But in practice all, save a few retrogrades, worshipped it as divine. Nor was it worshipped in unity. One believer would be chiefly impressed by the blue optic plates, through which he saw other believers; another by the mending apparatus, which sinful Kuno had compared to worms; another by the lifts, another by the Book. And each would pray to this or to that, and ask it to intercede for him with the Machine as a whole. Persecution - that also was present. It did not break out, for reasons that will be set forward shortly. But it was latent, and all who did not accept the minimum known as 'undenominational Mechanism' lived in danger of Homelessness, which means death, as we know.
To attribute these two great developments to the Central Committee, is to take a very narrow view of civilization. The Central Committee announced the developments, it is true, but they were no more the cause of them than were the kings of the imperialistic period the cause of war. Rather did they yield to some invincible pressure, which came no one knew whither, and which, when gratified, was succeeded by some new pressure equally invincible. To such a state of affairs it is convenient to give the name of progress. No one confessed the Machine was out of hand. Year by year it was served with increased efficiency and decreased intelligence. The better a man knew his own duties upon it, the less he understood the duties of his neighbour, and in all the world there was not one who understood the monster as a whole. Those master brains had perished. They had left full directions, it is true, and their successors had each of them mastered a portion of those directions. But Humanity, in its desire for comfort, had over-reached itself. It had exploited the riches of nature too far. Quietly and complacently, it was sinking into decadence, and progress had come to mean the progress of the Machine.
As for Vashti, her life went peacefully forward until the final disaster. She made her room dark and slept; she awoke and made the room light. She lectured and attended lectures. She exchanged ideas with her innumerable friends and believed she was growing more spiritual. At times a friend was granted Euthanasia, and left his or her room for the homelessness that is beyond all human conception. Vashti did not much mind. After an unsuccessful lecture, she would sometimes ask for Euthanasia herself. But the death-rate was not permitted to exceed the birth-rate, and the Machine had hitherto refused it to her.
The troubles began quietly, long before she was conscious of them.
One day she was astonished at receiving a message from her son. They never communicated, having nothing in common, and she had only heard indirectly that he was still alive, and had been transferred from the northern hemisphere, where he had behaved so mischievously, to the southern - indeed, to a room not far from her own.
'Does he want me to visit him?' she thought. 'Never again, never. And I have not the time.'
No, it was madness of another kind.
He refused to visualize his face upon the blue plate, and speaking out of the darkness with solemnity said:
'The Machine stops.'
'What do you say?'
'The Machine is stopping, I know it, I know the signs.'
She burst into a peal of laughter. He heard her and was angry, and they spoke no more.
'Can you imagine anything more absurd?' she cried to a friend. 'A man who was my son believes that the Machine is stopping. It would be impious if it was not mad.'
'The Machine is stopping?' her friend replied. 'What does that mean? The phrase conveys nothing to me.'
'Nor to me.'
'He does not refer, I suppose, to the trouble there has been lately with the music?'
'Oh no, of course not. Let us talk about music.'
'Have you complained to the authorities?'
'Yes, and they say it wants mending, and referred me to the Committee of the Mending Apparatus. I complained of those curious gasping sighs that disfigure the symphonies of the Brisbane school. They sound like some one in pain. The Committee of the Mending Apparatus say that it shall be remedied shortly.'
Obscurely worried, she resumed her life. For one thing, the defect in the music irritated her. For another thing, she could not forget Kuno's speech. If he had known that the music was out of repair - he could not know it, for he detested music - if he had known that it was wrong, 'the Machine stops' was exactly the venomous sort of remark he would have made. Of course he had made it at a venture, but the coincidence annoyed her, and she spoke with some petulance to the Committee of the Mending Apparatus.
They replied, as before, that the defect would be set right shortly.
'Shortly! At once!' she retorted. 'Why should I be worried by imperfect music? Things are always put right at once. If you do not mend it at once, I shall complain to the Central Committee.'
'No personal complaints are received by the Central Committee,' the Committee of the Mending Apparatus replied.
'Through whom am I to make my complaint, then?'
'Through us.'
'I complain then.'
'Your complaint shall be forwarded in its turn.'
'Have others complained?'
This question was unmechanical, and the Committee of the Mending Apparatus refused to answer it.
'It is too bad!' she exclaimed to another of her friends.
'There never was such an unfortunate woman as myself. I can never be sure of my music now. It gets worse and worse each time I summon it.'
'What is it?'
'I do not know whether it is inside my head, or inside the wall.'
'Complain, in either case.'
'I have complained, and my complaint will be forwarded in its turn to the Central Committee.'
Time passed, and they resented the defects no longer. The defects had not been remedied, but the human tissues in that latter day had become so subservient, that they readily adapted themselves to every caprice of the Machine. The sigh at the crises of the Brisbane symphony no longer irritated Vashti; she accepted it as part of the melody. The jarring noise, whether in the head or in the wall, was no longer resented by her friend. And so with the mouldy artificial fruit, so with the bath water that began to stink, so with the defective rhymes that the poetry machine had taken to emit. All were bitterly complained of at first, and then acquiesced in and forgotten. Things went from bad to worse unchallenged.
It was otherwise with the failure of the sleeping apparatus. That was a more serious stoppage. There came a day when over the whole world - in Sumatra, in Wessex, in the innumerable cities of Courland and Brazil - the beds, when summoned by their tired owners, failed to appear. It may seem a ludicrous matter, but from it we may date the collapse of humanity. The Committee responsible for the failure was assailed by complainants, whom it referred, as usual, to the Committee of the Mending Apparatus, who in its turn assured them that their complaints would be forwarded to the Central Committee. But the discontent grew, for mankind was not yet sufficiently adaptable to do without sleeping.
'Some one is meddling with the Machine---' they began.
'Some one is trying to make himself king, to reintroduce the personal element.'
'Punish that man with Homelessness.'
'To the rescue! Avenge the Machine! Avenge the Machine!'
'War! Kill the man!'
But the Committee of the Mending Apparatus now came forward, and allayed the panic with well-chosen words. It confessed that the Mending Apparatus was itself in need of repair.
The effect of this frank confession was admirable.
'Of course,' said a famous lecturer - he of the French Revolution, who gilded each new decay with splendour - 'of course we shall not press our complaints now. The Mending Apparatus has treated us so well in the past that we all sympathize with it, and will wait patiently for its recovery. In its own good time it will resume its duties. Meanwhile let us do without our beds, our tabloids, our other little wants. Such, I feel sure, would be the wish of the Machine.'
Thousands of miles away his audience applauded. The Machine still linked them. Under the seas, beneath the roots of the mountains, ran the wires through which they saw and heard, the enormous eyes and ears that were their heritage, and the hum of many workings clothed their thoughts in one garment of subserviency. Only the old and the sick remained ungrateful, for it was rumoured that Euthanasia, too, was out of order, and that pain had reappeared among men.
It became difficult to read. A blight entered the atmosphere and dulled its luminosity. At times Vashti could scarcely see across her room. The air, too, was foul. Loud were the complaints, impotent the remedies, heroic the tone of the lecturer as he cried: 'Courage! courage! What matter so long as the Machine goes on? To it the darkness and the light are one.' And though things improved again after a time, the old brilliancy was never recaptured, and humanity never recovered from its entrance into twilight. There was an hysterical talk of 'measures,' of 'provisional dictatorship,' and the inhabitants of Sumatra were asked to familiarize themselves with the workings of the central power station, the said power station being situated in France. But for the most part panic reigned, and men spent their strength praying to their Books, tangible proofs of the Machine's omnipotence. There were gradations of terror - at times came rumours of hope-the Mending Apparatus was almost mended - the enemies of the Machine had been got under - new 'nerve-centres' were evolving which would do the work even more magnificently than before. But there came a day when, without the slightest warning, without any previous hint of feebleness, the entire communication-system broke down, all over the world, and the world, as they understood it, ended.
Vashti was lecturing at the time and her earlier remarks had been punctuated with applause. As she proceeded the audience became silent, and at the conclusion there was no sound. Somewhat displeased, she called to a friend who was a specialist in sympathy. No sound: doubtless the friend was sleeping. And so with the next friend whom she tried to summon, and so with the next, until she remembered Kuno's cryptic remark, 'The Machine stops'.
The phrase still conveyed nothing. If Eternity was stopping it would of course be set going shortly.
For example, there was still a little light and air - the atmosphere had improved a few hours previously. There was still the Book, and while there was the Book there was security.
Then she broke down, for with the cessation of activity came an unexpected terror - silence.
She had never known silence, and the coming of it nearly killed her - it did kill many thousands of people outright. Ever since her birth she had been surrounded by the steady hum. It was to the ear what artificial air was to the lungs, and agonizing pains shot across her head. And scarcely knowing what she did, she stumbled forward and pressed the unfamiliar button, the one that opened the door of her cell.
Now the door of the cell worked on a simple hinge of its own. It was not connected with the central power station, dying far away in France. It opened, rousing immoderate hopes in Vashti, for she thought that the Machine had been mended. It opened, and she saw the dim tunnel that curved far away towards freedom. One look, and then she shrank back. For the tunnel was full of people - she was almost the last in that city to have taken alarm.
People at any time repelled her, and these were nightmares from her worst dreams. People were crawling about, people were screaming, whimpering, gasping for breath, touching each other, vanishing in the dark, and ever and anon being pushed off the platform on to the live rail. Some were fighting round the electric bells, trying to summon trains which could not be summoned. Others were yelling for Euthanasia or for respirators, or blaspheming the Machine. Others stood at the doors of their cells fearing, like herself, either to stop in them or to leave them. And behind all the uproar was silence - the silence which is the voice of the earth and of the generations who have gone.
No - it was worse than solitude. She closed the door again and sat down to wait for the end. The disintegration went on, accompanied by horrible cracks and rumbling. The valves that restrained the Medical Apparatus must have weakened, for it ruptured and hung hideously from the ceiling. The floor heaved and fell and flung her from the chair. A tube oozed towards her serpent fashion. And at last the final horror approached - light began to ebb, and she knew that civilization's long day was closing.
She whirled around, praying to be saved from this, at any rate, kissing the Book, pressing button after button. The uproar outside was increasing, and even penetrated the wall. Slowly the brilliancy of her cell was dimmed, the reflections faded from the metal switches. Now she could not see the reading-stand, now not the Book, though she held it in her hand. Light followed the flight of sound, air was following light, and the original void returned to the cavern from which it has so long been excluded. Vashti continued to whirl, like the devotees of an earlier religion, screaming, praying, striking at the buttons with bleeding hands. It was thus that she opened her prison and escaped - escaped in the spirit: at least so it seems to me, ere my meditation closes. That she escapes in the body - I cannot perceive that. She struck, by chance, the switch that released the door, and the rush of foul air on her skin, the loud throbbing whispers in her ears, told her that she was facing the tunnel again, and that tremendous platform on which she had seen men fighting. They were not fighting now. Only the whispers remained, and the little whimpering groans. They were dying by hundreds out in the dark.
She burst into tears.
Tears answered her.
They wept for humanity, those two, not for themselves. They could not bear that this should be the end. Ere silence was completed their hearts were opened, and they knew what had been important on the earth. Man, the flower of all flesh, the noblest of all creatures visible, man who had once made god in his image, and had mirrored his strength on the constellations, beautiful naked man was dying, strangled in the garments that he had woven. Century after century had he toiled, and here was his reward. Truly the garment had seemed heavenly at first, shot with colours of culture, sewn with the threads of self-denial. And heavenly it had been so long as man could shed it at will and live by the essence that is his soul, and the essence, equally divine, that is his body. The sin against the body - it was for that they wept in chief; the centuries of wrong against the muscles and the nerves, and those five portals by which we can alone apprehend - glozing it over with talk of evolution, until the body was white pap, the home of ideas as colourless, last sloshy stirrings of a spirit that had grasped the stars.
'Where are you?' she sobbed.
His voice in the darkness said, 'Here.'
Is there any hope, Kuno?'
'None for us.'
'Where are you?'
She crawled over the bodies of the dead. His blood spurted over her hands.
'Quicker,' he gasped, 'I am dying - but we touch, we talk, not through the Machine.'
He kissed her.
'We have come back to our own. We die, but we have recaptured life, as it was in Wessex, when Ælfrid overthrew the Danes. We know what they know outside, they who dwelt in the cloud that is the colour of a pearl.'
'But Kuno, is it true? Are there still men on the surface of the earth? Is this - tunnel, this poisoned darkness - really not the end?'
He replied:
'I have seen them, spoken to them, loved them. They are hiding in the midst and the ferns until our civilization stops. Today they are the Homeless - tomorrow----- '
'Oh, tomorrow - some fool will start the Machine again, tomorrow.'
'Never,' said Kuno, 'never. Humanity has learnt its lesson.'
As he spoke, the whole city was broken like a honeycomb. An air-ship had sailed in through the vomitory into a ruined wharf. It crashed downwards, exploding as it went, rending gallery after gallery with its wings of steel. For a moment they saw the nations of the dead, and, before they joined them, scraps of the untainted sky.

The "Machine Stops" was first published in the Oxford and Cambridge Review in 1909
Copyright ©1947 E.M. Forster

2004-09-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'm trying out a new format on my blog. The only problem right now is that I switched to blogger's commenting option, without saving the old comments. I also need to put up a picture of myself and move some of the links to the left side of the screen. I'm also at work right now, so I haven't seen how it shows up in FireFox yet.

Going to watch the debate tonight. Before that I need to get in a run, and then clean the house a little. My friend Wynne is coming up for the weekend, so I have a reason to clean.

Finally got my separation orders! Now I have a million things on my "to do" list. I'm looking forward to the move and the new job (when I get one) et al.

Aidan is suppose to be moving back to TX with his mom in Nov. She has stated that she would like for him to stay with her permanently, but I don't know if that's how things will go... I would like him with me at some point, but need to get into a house, have a job and be settled first. I also don't want the poor kid to have to keep switching schools, friends etc throughout his life. Either way, he'll be in an environment where he is loved.

Can't wait until next weekend. My wonderful girlfriend has planned a riverboat cruise where they play blues music while you go up the river...should be very cool. This is an early B-day present...

I'll have my "what I want for Christmas" list up soon...As I'll be moving into a new place, it will probably consist of things like bathroom floor mats, and spice rack for the kitchen...you know...

I've had a soar back for the last couple of days, but it seems to be getting better now. I guess I'm just getting old. Actually what I need to do is start stretching more. OK, not more, just in general. I don't do it and need to start...

My favorite food of late is bagels with ham and mozzarella cheese served open faced. Fucking great!

OK kids, I'm at work...I don't actually do much here any more. I need to get ready to go home...

Cheers
Tim

2004-09-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

Friend of mine sent me this...

The Unfeeling President

By E.L. Doctorow

I fault this president for not knowing what death is. He does not suffer the death of our 21-year-olds who wanted to be what they could be. On the eve of D-Day in 1944 General Eisenhower prayed to God for the lives of the young soldiers he knew were going to die. He knew what death was. Even in a justifiable war, a war not of choice but of necessity, a war of survival, the cost was almost more than Eisenhower could bear.

But this president does not know what death is. He hasn't the mind for it. You see him joking with the press, peering under the table for the weapons of mass destruction he can't seem to find, you see him at rallies strutting up to the stage in shirt sleeves to the roar of the carefully screened crowd, smiling and waving, triumphal, a he-man.

He does not mourn. He doesn't understand why he should mourn. He is satisfied during the course of a speech written for him to look solemn for a moment and speak of the brave young Americans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.

But you study him, you look into his eyes and know he dissembles an emotion which he does not feel in the depths of his being because he has no capacity for it. He does not feel a personal responsibility for the 1,000 dead young men and women who wanted to be what they could be.

They come to his desk not as youngsters with mothers and fathers or wives and children who will suffer to the end of their days a terribly torn fabric of familial relationships and the inconsolable remembrance of aborted life . . . they come to his desk as a political liability, which is why the press is not permitted to photograph the arrival of their coffins from Iraq.

How then can he mourn? To mourn is to express regret and he regrets nothing. He does not regret that his reason for going to war was, as he knew, unsubstantiated by the facts. He does not regret that his bungled plan for the war's aftermath has made of his mission-accomplished a disaster. He does not regret that, rather than controlling terrorism, his war in Iraq has licensed it. So he never mourns for the dead and crippled youngsters who have fought this war of his choice.

He wanted to go to war and he did. He had not the mind to perceive the costs of war, or to listen to those who knew those costs. He did not understand that you do not go to war when it is one of the options but when it is the only option; you go not because you want to but because you have to.

Yet this president knew it would be difficult for Americans not to cheer the overthrow of a foreign dictator. He knew that much. This president and his supporters would seem to have a mind for only one thing -- to take power, to remain in power, and to use that power for the sake of themselves and their friends.

A war will do that as well as anything. You become a wartime leader. The country gets behind you. Dissent becomes inappropriate. And so he does not drop to his knees, he is not contrite, he does not sit in the church with the grieving parents and wives and children. He is the president who does not feel. He does not feel for the families of the dead, he does not feel for the 35 million of us who live in poverty, he does not feel for the 40 percent who cannot afford health insurance, he does not feel for the miners whose lungs are turning black or for the working people he has deprived of the chance to work overtime at time-and-a-half to pay their bills - it is amazing for how many people in this country this president does not feel.

But he will dissemble feeling. He will say in all sincerity he is relieving the wealthiest 1 percent of the population of their tax burden for the sake of the rest of us, and that he is polluting the air we breathe for the sake of our economy, and that he is decreasing the quality of air in coal mines to save the coal miners' jobs, and that he is depriving workers of their time-and-a-half benefits for overtime because this is actually a way to honor them by raising them into the professional class.

And this litany of lies he will versify with reverences for God and the flag and democracy, when just what he and his party are doing to our democracy is choking the life out of it.

But there is one more terribly sad thing about all of this. I remember the millions of people here and around the world who marched against the war. It was extraordinary, that spontaneous aroused oversoul of alarm and protest that transcended national borders. Why did it happen? After all, this was not the only war anyone had ever seen coming. There are little wars all over he world most of the time.

But the cry of protest was the appalled understanding of millions of people that America was ceding its role as the last best hope of mankind. It was their perception that the classic archetype of democracy was morphing into a rogue nation. The greatest democratic republic in history was turning its back on the future, using its extraordinary power and standing not to advance the ideal of a concordance of civilizations but to endorse the kind of tribal combat that originated with the Neanderthals, a people, now extinct, who could imagine ensuring their survival by no other means than pre-emptive war.

The president we get is the country we get. With each president the nation is conformed spiritually. He is the artificer of our malleable national soul. He proposes not only the laws but the kinds of lawlessness that govern our lives and invoke our responses. The people he appoints are cast in his image. The trouble they get into and get us into, is his characteristic trouble.

Finally, the media amplify his character into our moral weather report. He becomes the face of our sky, the conditions that prevail. How can we sustain ourselves as the United States of America given the stupid and ineffective warmaking, the constitutionally insensitive lawgiving, and the monarchal economics of this president? He cannot mourn but is a figure of such moral vacancy as to make us mourn for ourselves.

2004-09-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

It's nice to see that we were able to intercept the guy who wrote "Peace Train" after the flight was already in the air...you gotta love the attention to detail at United airlines and the Homeland security folks...

In other news...I got another A in my computer security class the other night...I rule...

I'm at home today. My stomach has been bothering me and I didn't get much sleep.

I'm off to a nice nap before siesta time...

more later
Tim

2004-09-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Power was out today. A branch fell on the lines down the street. I used the time to get in a nice nap. The sox were getting killed at the time it went out anyway. At least Michigan won today (yep I have to become a fan for survival purpose!). Went to Chipolte for a big ass burrito with my roomie. MMMMMMMM. Now I'm sitting back enjoying a Killians and writing this. Wish we had a third for Risk. Haven't played that or Axis and Allies for years, but always have fun when I do.

It's really starting to feel like fall outside. I love it.

I didn't take my centrum all week and I really notice the difference. I've felt wiped out for the last couple of days. I finally remembered with dinner. I should be back to normal in a couple of days...

More later
Tim

2004-09-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

Got this off of Moby's site...

Subject: FW: Fwd: To be Republican

The Bergen Statesman September 11,2004

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with communist China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all humankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '70s & '80s is irrelevant.

Try to figure out why stem cell research is taboo, but creationism makes a lot of sense.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican

2004-09-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm trying out two new things...first one is Gmail from google. Very impressed so far. Second is Firefox from Mozilla. I'll give it time, but it's a little slow opening some of my regular sites...

2004-09-17T13:24:00.000-07:00

Why Artificial Intelligence has a long way to go...

Can some explain to me why

North America

and

United States

are considered skills?

This is what I got back from posting my resume with the Defense Logistics Agency...

Your skills are determined by the Department of Defense's Standard Automated Inventory and Referral System (STAIRS).
STAIRS is a commercial, off-the-shelf software program which analyses your resume using artificial intelligence technology.

Your skills were determined to be as follows:

1. Electronics Exp
2. AFCEA
3. Armed Forces
4. Apprenticeship
5. Equal Opportunity
6. EEO
7. EEO
8. Technical Training
9. Tech Educ Endors
10. Admin Operation
11. Aerospace
12. Communications
13. Comm Skill
14. Personal Computer
15. PC Troubleshooting
16. PC Maintenance
17. Cmptr Maintenance
18. Troubleshoot
19. Spot Check
20. Basic
21. Database Mgmt
22. Oracle DB
23. Relational Database
24. HR Communications
25. HR Management
26. Human Resources Exp
27. US Dept Agriculture
28. A+ Certification
29. MIS
30. Local Policy/Proc
31. Database
32. MS Access
33. Database Developmt
34. Air Compliance
35. Follow Policy/Proc
36. Policy/Proc Implemt
37. Assistance Visit
38. Program Development
39. Network Support
40. Security Classifctn
41. Security Reqmt
42. Requirements Verif
43. Security Policies
44. Indust. Security
45. Policy Development
46. Enterprise Network
47. Electron Emiss Sec
48. Network Security
49. Computer Security
50. Security Administr
51. DITSCAP
52. Accreditation
53. Security Procedure
54. Technology Security
55. Force Management
56. Program Management
57. Technology Mgmt
58. Info Resources Mgmt
59. IRM
60. Information Mgmt
61. Staffing Changes
62. Training Assistance
63. Help Desk
64. Std Operating Proc
65. Procedure Develop
66. Pol&Proc Dev&Rev
67. Communctns,Military
68. Telecomm Exp
69. Procurement
70. Financial Exp
71. Finance
72. Resource Management
73. Resource Mgt Plng
74. Rsource Mgmt Term
75. Admin Systems
76. Printers
77. System Security
78. File System
79. Account Profile
80. System Acct Mgmt
81. Task Planning/Mgmt
82. Windows
83. Cln/Mnt Windows
84. User Support
85. Platform
86. Email
87. System Support
88. Computer System
89. Network
90. Client Management
91. Cust Acct Mgr
92. SW Maintenance
93. Supervision
94. LResorce Stewardshp
95. US Air Force
96. United States
97. North America
98. Military Cmd
99. Technical Support
100. Computer Support
101. Tech Skills
102. Computer Training
103. Baseline
104. Training Design
105. Civilian Personnel
106. Respnsbl&Acctblty
107. Program Support
108. Training Support
109. Individual Instr
110. Innovative
111. Creative
112. Innovtn&Initiatve
113. Professional
114. Staffing
115. HR Program Implemnt
116. Train Prg Implement
117. Program Implementn
118. Prog Proj Plan
119. ProgrmDev Imp Obj
120. HR Program Design
121. Train Prg Des/Dev
122. Civ Per Mgmt
123. HR Leadership
124. Group Leadership
125. Leadership
126. Coach MentorMotiv
127. Team Management
128. Teamwork
129. Leadrship
130. Team Leader
131. Message Handlng Sys
132. Oral Written Comm
133. Windows 2000
134. MS Windows
135. Windows NT
136. UNIX
137. Web Browser
138. Netscape
139. Emerging Technology
140. Emerging Tech
141. System Administratn
142. Military Experience
143. Staff Education
144. Emp Dev
145. Instructor Guide
146. Training Experience
147. Training Manual
148. Reference Manual
149. Training Materials
150. Systems Training
151. Material Control
152. Property Ctrl Sys
153. Control Systems
154. Mgmt Controls
155. Command & Control
156. Cntrl System Design
157. System Development
158. System Control
159. Info Sys Agency
160. Information Tech/IS
161. AIS
162. Emerg Computr Tec
163. US Dept Defense
164. 65+ WPM
165. 55+ WPM
166. 45+ WPM
167. 35+ WPM
168. 25+ WPM
169. Typing
170. *Computer Literate
171. Computer Lit
172. Configuration Mgmt
About your skills:
This is a listing of your skills as of this date, additions/deletions to the grammar database may result in changes in your skills listing.

2004-09-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Not sorry it's been so long since my last post. I am sorry I'm not an Oprah fan though...a new car would have been nice (at least to sell). I like that Colin Quinn gave his audience metro tickets as an answer.

The elections are right around the corner and I couldn't be more....bored to tears by these two idiots. Bush is just scary. On the other hand, if I told Kerry I like the smell of my own shit, he'd probably tell me that he had a program to get more things in my neighborhood to smell like my shit. I of course get all my political information from the Daily Show on Comedy Central (look for the new book out next week)

Why haven't I heard any good huricane jokes lately?

I'm nervous about getting out... I'm sure the nerves will subside when I get a job. I am very excited about actually living somewhere that I like, and being close to my girlfriend though. I've been spending the last couple of weeks working on the resume (If you live the Detroit area and would like a copy to pass along, just ask), practicing the interview skills and just basically sitting on my ass thinking about what life will be like for me over the next few years. New job, new house, new wife (someday...breathe sweety).

I'm hoping Boston can pull off more wins than losses this weekend. I'm pretty sure they have the wild card rapped up, but it would be nice to see them get the division as well.

2004-08-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

Here I am last Thursday at our unit picnic...

2004-08-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

Just killing some time for my last 20 minutes of work...

The folks in the separation office don't seem to be very smart. They almost submitted my paperwork with the wrong code put in for my separation pay...That would have been costly. Luckily I discovered the error and made them fix it.

The South Korean kid should get the gold. The guy from the US is going to have to look at it anyway and think "Oh yeah, I won because the judges were idiots." Have a little fucking integrity. The judges screwed up, everyone knows it, fix the problem and move on...

The next person to mention "Swift boats" should be tied behind one until they drown.

Glad I waited on SP2 for XP. My next machine is going to be a Mac if this keeps up.

I'm running the Army ten-miler in October. Yeah me.

Going to Detroit next week. Yeah me again.

OK more later
Tim

2004-08-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

The only constant is confusion...

The latest and greatest (subject to change at any minute). The folks at the Pentagon who handle separations from the Air Force had some bad information that they were working off of. So it now looks like I will be out of the AF on 7 December of this year. I'm trying to work with the AF Reserve folks to find out what kind of position they can get me out in Michigan. At the same time I'm going to post my resume out on Monster etc next week and see what kind of hits I get. If I don't get anything back from Michigan, I will probably go ahead and find a job in the DC area for a while. Reason for this is I have a security clearance and they have a lot of jobs in this area based on the systems I know. I'm a little nervous but excited at the same time. Wish me luck...

Tim

2004-08-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

Next person who says "You're throwing it all away" dies. I turned down the assignment to Korea. I've been there. I don't need to go again. I went up to start filling out some paperwork thinking I'd be kicked out in January and they decided to tell me that the rules have changed again, and I'll be here at the Pentagon until Aug of 05. So that's the plan. Here until next August and then Michigan. Works out well. I'll be able to finish school. Gives me time to get my resume together...It's going to be great. I will be doing the AF Reserves. Anyway, I'll post more when all the papers have been signed.

Tim

2004-08-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

Very tiring week, but it ended well. Had to go out of town for work. Was under the impression I would be leaving early Thursday morning. Around 10 Wednesday night I get a call saying "they need you and your team there ASAP!"...boy what fun. Contacted two of my people fairly easily. The third did not answer his phone, so myself and another member of my team drove to his place to wake him. He did not respond...this kid can sleep through anything. After 20 minutes of banging on the door, ringing the doorbell, calling from our cell phones etc, a neighbor came out to inform us they were calling the police if we did not go away...so away we went without my whole team...Drove for a couple of hours (actually didn't leave the Pentagon until after midnight) and arrived at the destination at about 2:30. Got checked in and found beds et al by around 3:30...had to be on shift at 6 so I didn't bother sleeping.

Things got better from there. Ran into some old friends while I was up there which was fun. I also solidified the bonds with new friends. Didn't get much sleep, but had a good time anyway. The work load was far less than we expected, so a lot of just going over manuals and talking and watching CNN or FOX news...

Friday got released and it was beautiful out. We were blessed with a perfect fall day right in the middle of the summer. The ride back was very cool. Good music, sunny, good conversation...got home and just unwound. Watched a few episodes of Band of Brothers with my roommate then head off to bed around 1130. At around 1130 this morning I finally woke up. I haven't slept like that in a long time. I really needed it. Managed to mow the lawn and do some other small yard work, then watched a few more episodes of BoB.

Booked the flights for my next couple of trips. Going to see my soulmate in September, and then to Germany for Christmas. I'll probably end up in Detroit a couple of more times before I head to Korea in Feb.

For those of you behind on my current plans...here they are again: Go to Korea in Feb 05..leave Korea in Feb 06 and join the AF Reserves full time as Selfridge ANG base in Michigan. While I'm working for the Reserves, I'll be busy finding a real job. Once I have the real job, I'll switch over to doing the Reserves as a 1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year thing. Some time after I get out there I will buy a house and some time after that I'll be asking the afore mentioned soulmate to marry me (if you're reading this sweetie..again try to breathe). I'm hoping my divorce will be final before I head to Korea, so I don't have to do any paperwork or anything while I'm there.

All right, that's about enough for now...

Tim

2004-08-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

Got the idea off Shanna's page, but I liked it and thought I would put one out here..enjoy.

2004-08-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

OK, so the motivation died... Long weekend. Really not long enough, but you get the point... Managed to get out to a hop-hop club with some friends. It was fun to have a couple of drinks and just let go for a few hours.

Been fooling around with my guitar again..yeah me. I'm really starting to think that I want an electric. Maybe I'll get myself one for Christmas... Speaking of Christmas, I'm going to see Aidan in Germany...It's going to be great. Also a good chance I'll be heading to Vegas in October for a friends wedding...I've never been, but with my current amount of pent up sexual energy (you try having a girlfriend 500 miles away), and a longing to catch up on some kind of youthful foolishness, and my fondness for alcoholic beverages I'm bound to end up in jail. It's probably a good thing I'm not into gamblinf as well. Should be great fun.

I'm off to eat Mexican with some friends.

Still waiting on paperwork for my assignment...starting to get frustrated...

more later
Tim

2004-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Hey kids...I'm back. If my current motivation stays with, you can expect a small flurry of post in the next week or so. Right now I'm just posting to say that I got an A in my last class. I rule. I'm good looking too, you knew that.

2004-07-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

Aidan on his 5th Bday

2004-07-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

My jeep.

2004-07-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

This one came to me from Detroit Rock City... It speaks to my very soul...

Dear Wendy's Double, Although you are not a large as your bigger brother the Triple, you are equally as tasty, your square juicy goodness keeps me up at night, I toss and turn thinking about your special taste. I would like to posthumously award your designer, Dave Thomas the honor of burger Genius. The key to you, Double, is the proper mixture of tomato, pickles and the often under-used yellow mustard that fits so well with what you are. Thank you for being there for me in good and bad times and for giving me the reassurance that you will be there in the future. You are all beef in my book Double, all beef Friends: we have gathered on this 19th day of july to honor not only the almightly Double, but our faithful companion, the often overlooked, but never failing, Single with cheese as well. The Single has been a staple for many of us throughout this lifetime....weather in good times or in bad, we have relied on the Single with Cheese to satisfy our hunger panges, if for nothing else...to hold us over until a later time, when the Double could be conquered. Many of us have had the opportunity to engage in wild eating frenzies, carelessly devouring the Single with Cheese, affectionately referred to by fans as SWC, without really thinking about the privilege and honor in which we were partaking..so today, friends, lets all give a round of applause to the ever delicious, ever satisfying, ever perfect SWC, as he has been there for us so many times,,,,living in the shadow of the Double, quietly satisfying our needs, never seeking praise ~ humbly serving his duty as a burger for decades. Thank you SWC, thank you.

2004-07-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

I have not forgot about my fans. It's been a busy couple of weeks. I'm holding off posting a lot of stuff to this site until I'm 100% sure what I'm going to do with my life.

I've been eating way too much lately. It started over 4th of July weekend. Ever since I just eat and enjoy it. I'm probably going to fast tomorrow though. My new, hopefully obtainable goal is to lose 10-15 pounds by February. I got on the scale after I ran on Tuesday and noticed I'm now at the heaviest weight I've ever been. That was enough of a wake up call. I'm waiting until after next weekend (I have my reasons) and then going to change my diet and add another day or two each week at the gym. I'm also going to start using the sauna to get rid of some of the water weight. Speaking of water, the pool at the new gym in the Pentagon is pretty nice so I may start swimming 1 day a week as well.

I hand washed my car for the first time today. It was actually fun. I usually just go to the car wash, but some birds did massive damage to my car and I didn't feel like driving anywhere.

Roommates are taking off for Hawaii in the morning. I get the place to myself for a couple of days until a wonderful girl I know from Detroit comes to visit. I can't wait.

That's about it for now. I have some pics from when Aidan was here that I need to get out. Unfortunately, doing the other web page is lower priority than school work, refinishing my coffee and end tables and keeping up with house work.

OK, gonna go find a movie to watch or something..

Tim

2004-06-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

A change in plans. I will be going to Korea. I've accepted this. I'm happy the desicion is now made and I can start planning for the future. On the other I'm very sad over what it did for my relationship with the most perfect woman I've ever met. Not in the best of moods right now...

2004-06-22T19:16:00.000-07:00

Aidan and Shanna got off OK. At least the plane took off at 5:30 and it's now almost 10:30, and no phone call so I'm guessing they got on the plane OK. They should be in Amsterdam in a couple of hours, then a short layover, then on to Frankfurt. I really enjoyed having Aidan here. It was nice to see Shanna as well, but a little awkward. We were polite to each other at least.

Trying to work out different versions of my budget to fit into the scenarios I may be faced with in the year or so. I could be heading to Michigan in January, Korea in February, or Michigan next August. Won't be able to work any of this until next week, so I'm going to try and not think about it too much. I think I'm going to take in Fahrenheit 9/11 this weekend. I heard it's a romantic comedy about a boy and his love for oil.

Not much going on in my life. I need to get my homework done, but I have until Monday. I think I'm almost ready to start running outside again. My legs seems to be holding up well on the treadmill anyway.

In some weird demented way, I want the people doing the executions in Iraq to find a Chinese guy to threaten to kill. In response I want China to send about 2 million troops into Iraq. I figure 10 guys on every street corner would help curb the terrorist enthusiasm. Hey that's just me, and no I don't really want to see someone from China executed.

I think it's great a "civilian" made it into space this week, but I would like to know what they expect to come of this. If it's all about charging millionaires to say they're astronauts too, the fuck it...End it now. If it's about improving technology and advancing man's presence in space, then go for it.

Aidan dropped an "F bomb" while he was here. His exact words were "Where are those Fucking puzzle pieces?" very cute. OK, maybe not so cute. Turns out the pieces were in a place that I had looked the night before but somehow managed to miss.

OK, well I need to get some rest. I'm the Booster Club President, and we have a bake sale tomorrow (this would sound like a macho activity if....nothings coming to mind).

More later
Tim

2004-06-18T04:09:00.000-07:00

I think Roger Ebert's artilce here does an outstanding job explaining how we should go about getting rid of Bush. I don't always agree with his choice of movies, but as for how a documentary should be done, he's right on.

'9/11': Just the facts?
June 18, 2004
BY ROGER EBERT FILM CRITIC

A reader writes:
"In your articles discussing Michael Moore's film 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' you call it a documentary. I always thought of documentaries as presenting facts objectively without editorializing. While I have enjoyed many of Mr. Moore's films, I don't think they fit the definition of a documentary."
That's where you're wrong. Most documentaries, especially the best ones, have an opinion and argue for it. Even those that pretend to be objective reflect the filmmaker's point of view. Moviegoers should observe the bias, take it into account and decide if the film supports it or not.
Michael Moore is a liberal activist. He is the first to say so. He is alarmed by the prospect of a second term for George W. Bush, and made "Fahrenheit 9/11" for the purpose of persuading people to vote against him.
That is all perfectly clear, and yet in the days before the film opens June 25, there'll be bountiful reports by commentators who are shocked! shocked! that Moore's film is partisan. "He doesn't tell both sides," we'll hear, especially on Fox News, which is so famous for telling both sides.
The wise French director Godard once said, "The way to criticize a film is to make another film." That there is not a pro-Bush documentary available right now I am powerless to explain. Surely, however, the Republican National Convention will open with such a documentary, which will position Bush comfortably between Ronald Reagan and God. The Democratic convention will have a wondrous film about John Kerry. Anyone who thinks one of these documentaries is "presenting facts objectively without editorializing" should look at the other one.
The pitfall for Moore is not subjectivity, but accuracy. We expect him to hold an opinion and argue it, but we also require his facts to be correct. I was an admirer of his previous doc, the Oscar-winning "Bowling for Columbine," until I discovered that some of his "facts" were wrong, false or fudged.
In some cases, he was guilty of making a good story better, but in other cases (such as his ambush of Charlton Heston) he was unfair, and in still others (such as the wording on the plaque under the bomber at the Air Force Academy) he was just plain wrong, as anyone can see by going to look at the plaque.
Because I agree with Moore's politics, his inaccuracies pained me, and I wrote about them in my Answer Man column. Moore wrote me that he didn't expect such attacks "from you, of all people." But I cannot ignore flaws simply because I agree with the filmmaker. In hurting his cause, he wounds mine.
Now comes "Fahrenheit 9/11," floating on an enormous wave of advance publicity. It inspired a battle of the titans between Disney's Michael Eisner and Miramax's Harvey Weinstein. It won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival. It has been rated R by the MPAA, and former New York Gov. Mario Cuomo has signed up as Moore's lawyer, to challenge the rating. The conservative group Move America Forward, which successfully bounced the mildly critical biopic "The Reagans" off CBS and onto cable, has launched a campaign to discourage theaters from showing "Fahrenheit 9/11."
The campaign will amount to nothing and disgraces Move America Forward by showing it trying to suppress disagreement instead of engaging it. The R rating may stand; there is a real beheading in the film, and only fictional beheadings get the PG-13. Disney and Miramax will survive.
Moore's real test will come on the issue of accuracy. He can say whatever he likes about Bush, as long as his facts are straight. Having seen the film twice, I saw nothing that raised a flag for me, and I haven't heard of any major inaccuracies. When Moore was questioned about his claim that Bush unwisely lingered for six or seven minutes in that Florida classroom after learning of the World Trade Center attacks, Moore was able to reply with a video of Bush doing exactly that.
I agree with Moore that the presidency of George W. Bush has been a disaster for America. In writing that, I expect to get the usual complaints that movie critics should keep their political opinions to themselves. But opinions are my stock in trade, and is it not more honest to declare my politics than to conceal them? I agree with Moore, and because I do, I hope "Fahrenheit 9/11" proves to be as accurate as it seems.

2004-06-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

I just realized how good looking I am... OK enough of that. Aidan and Shanna are here until the 22nd, when they take off for Germany. It's great having Aidan around again, he's such a smart little guy. We're going to do some cake and ice cream on the 21st for Aidan's B-day.

Going to try diet and exercise for about 6 months to see if it lowers my blood pressure enough to avoid having to take medication. With side effects like fatigue and impotency, the medication does not sound very pleasant.

The booted Jim Norton off of Last Comic Standing because of his contractual obligations with another network...That just sucks, because he was the funniest person on the show.

I have a meeting with an Air Force Reserves recruiter tomorrow. Going to have her try and "sell me" on the idea of the reserves. This week I'm still thinking I'll be separating from the AF in August of 05. A lot of things are involved in that decision. I really want to get out and start working in the civilian work force. I also want to stay in place long enough that I actually can finish my degree without switching schools again. If I get out, I'll be here until Aug 05, which is when my current school program is over. Anyway, I have to get going from work. Just wanted to let my fans know that I still post occasionally.

Cheers
Tim